[DISCUSSION] Sexual Harassment and Gross Roleplay

[Bala]

Eclipse Roleplay, we're going to have to have a conversation because I feels like we're at a bit of a tipping point with regards to our community and in particular, the treatment of female players in the community and the situations that they are being subjected to. 

Before anyone thinks of replying, don't take the piss with your response. There are some things that just shouldn't be memed about. I know full well what this community and online gaming communities are like for saying edgy shit to be funny but this one isn't the place.

I'd like to start this by stating for the record, it is fair to say that I've said some pretty wild things to people on this server, including female players. I've made comments sexual in nature and I've thrown some pretty white knuckle statements the way of female players on this server. I'm not going to sit here and pretend that I've never said anything to no-one. They're nearly always taken in the way they are intended, in an in-character manner and honestly, usually as just as banter between someone that I have known for quite a while.

In fact, to be clear, I went over board and made a comment, that I intended to be a joke, to someone at the weekend that unfortunately had an impact on them as a person, beyond their IC character and truth be told, I don't really feel very good about that at all. I've since apologized and the intent was only towards the character but because it is the sort of comment that is regularly leveled at female characters in general, it gets to a point where they're just hearing the same thing over and over. I can see how that would effect someone, effect anyone. I didn't really know this person well enough to make that kind of joke.

That being said, it got me thinking about the culture of this community when it comes to our female members and the reality that, as a male, I don't and won't have the same experiences playing in a gaming community like Eclipse that a female player does. The server's population is predominantly male and it's ran by mostly males so I think at times, we're actually a little bit ignorant to this sort of thing even in 2025 because it's not something that most of this in positions of responsibility here have to go through.

I think that factions like The Girlies and the Bus Pass Bandits, are incredibly important because they are female ran and I think they are quite supportive environments for female characters on the server.

That to say, I've personally been made aware of at at least 10 different instances where female characters have been made to feel extremely uncomfortable or been forced/coerced into situations involving sexual comments or actions that they did not want to be in.

This doesn't just stop at in-game actions, exploiting perhaps their position within law enforcement or within a gang but also, community members in people's DMs being way too inappropriate.

To ECRP's credit, they've brought a rule in but with all due respect, because of the nature of something like this, female players do not feel they can come forward to report these incidents because a) it's not something that they really want everyone to know about and b) they don't necessarily feel they will be supported and understood by the community for doing so.

I think that it would be advantageous to have something dedicated to the reporting of these incidents so they could be reported and dealt with, with discretion and sensitivity, ideally by a female staff member. Whether that's an @Aldarine @kat @pixiejewels @ArcAngel Angel, or even someone like Lola who isn't a staff member as such but one of the more well known and respected females in the community. It's important that there is someone in a position of authority that female players can go to, should they feel the need to discuss this.

I can appreciate that there are a number of female players on the server that feel comfortable approaching someone like me with these issues. I do take pride in the positive relationships I've made with some of the female players on the server and I have no issue with a female player reaching out if they've been involved in something like this but I'm thinking more about the people that don't know me well enough or would rather have someone female to talk to. Putting something in place for that.

For the male side of things, I don't want us to create a snowflake community where no one can say anything to no one or anything like that. I don't think that way and it's not a healthy way to be but for example, consider how different a kidnap situation for a man and a woman plays on this server. Consider how the balance of people, even in-game, is different for a man and a woman. 

Part of the problem is that quite a lot of our male player base, if we're being completely honest here, are males who have very limited or difficulty interacting with women. They either don't have enough experience of women to understand they operate on a different frequency to men but also that they are subjected to stuff in their personal lives that we will never have the misfortune to have to go through. I'm sure a lot of us will know at least one woman in our lives that has been a victim of some sort of sexual assault at some point, be that a near-miss, the threat of or it actually happening.

Some male players on the server only see female players a certain way, in part because it's online and they feel they can get away with it. Also, in part because that's how some of them view women in real life, whether that is just how they think, how their religion has taught them or whatever. That being said in 2025, in Eclipse, any one should be made to feel unsafe or uncomfortable playing here because you think a certain way about women.

I also get that guys want to flirt with women, fucking hell, I've done it myself on here and while there have been a lot of success stories of people getting into relationships and even married through meeting in Eclipse, no still means fucking no. If someone isn't interested in you like that, back the fuck off and keep that shit moving. There's like 3 billion women on the planet, there's bound to be one you like, that likes you back.

No female in the server is going to put on a badge in game and let you know they've been a victim of that but with how common it is, it'd would surprise you. We've had this discussion before when it came to race, but sexual assault/harassment is just as present as racism. Sexual Assault and Harassment isn't just when it happens, it's something that they can have to re-live over and over when they are triggered a certain way.

To that end, this is what I'm proposing;

• We ban what constitutes Gross Roleplay altogether from the community.
  While I can appreciate that this is going to limit SOME roleplay, there is a reason somethings are designated gross and I have to wonder if we need it.
  Yes, getting consent from someone in game is acceptable but consider that that consent can be somewhat given under duress.
  We can just fucking kill and rob each other, without getting rapey about it.
   
• We set up a private report section, for reporting sexual harassment, whether that's in-game or between members of the community.
  This would be moderated by only the highest echelons of staff and potentially, our female staff members would be the ones taking the reports.
  Having a dedicated and private area to report this stuff would make more different to our female players than changing the rules would.

It's important that we don't assume guilt about people, absent any sort of evidence or not give people the opportunity to defend themselves. Allegations are just allegations of course, but we have to unfortunately be willing to remove people if the wrong line gets crossed.

Finally, at the end of the day, sometimes we say things to each other that we shouldn't. If someone takes something like this the wrong way, it really costs nothing to be a real man and just apologize and don't do it again.

I'm sorry that this post was so long but honestly, the amount of people coming forward about other community members behind the scenes is getting fucking ridiculous now and someone needed to say something.

[Freyster]

People that never think further than themselves are the issue why there has to be stict regulations on as to what makes people uncomfortable, people need to get a grip n actually think about what would be said or done further than just into a microphone.

Edited February 5, 2025 by Freyster

[Saint_]

+1 on the suggestion, although more restrictions is never better, some issues need to be solved one way or another.

[Bala]

1 minute ago, Saint_ said:

+1 on the suggestion, although more restrictions is never better, some issues need to be solved one way or another.

I'm not really fussed on how it's addressed, that was just my suggestion. I just think that we need more of an open avenue than we have now for people to come forward.

[SkyeFuryy]

As a woman playing on ECRP, I would totally appreciate a safe space to report things like this. I am hoping Staff will thoroughly consider a private report area for these matters, with female staff members we can reach out to. 
 

I agree with Frey, people need to think before they talk. But why should they when nothing is getting enforced to stop them?

[Jordan]

+1

From my perspective there should be zero reason why anyone should roleplay any kind of sexual harassment of any kind, comments like "I dont recognize you with your clothes on" and "Get some real dick" (Both of these are comments i've genuinely heard in game) Just simply shouldn't be allowed on the server. I do not see why anyone would want to roleplay that image for themselves. I understand people have their own roleplay, and they want to create stories for their characters, but I am 100% of the belief the comfortability of our player base is infinitely more important than RP that will hurt our community. I've seen these things negatively affect female members of my faction and it genuinely makes my skin crawl.

Love the suggestion hoping to see some changes made very soon

[Felarx]

+1 your so right. I just feel like a handful are genuinely horrible people and the other like 80% are taking roleplay a bit too far. So many people think they're like actual gangsters OOCly sometimes and say shit ICly in a way that it offends another person, then gets defensive and rude OOCly which then makes them look a certain way. Sometimes people just need to pick and choose their words ICly and if it's actually something their "character" would say. Or if thats actually how they are as a person outside of the city then Roleplaying on this server isn't for them.. Obviously this is really rare and only happens mainly in kidnapping/hostage scenarios but still, it happens.

If we can get rid of those handful of horrible people it would make roleplaying hostage scenarios really fun for the women instead of it making it really edgy, weird and strange for them.

 

[Rosalia Hall]

As someone who has been through it from male and females, this was one of the main reasons I left my factions (legal and illegal). It has been a huge issue and I don't think there is any rule or "punishments" that can fix it but there does need to be a safer place to address it. I have received major backlash or told to just "report" very uncomfortable situations publicly anytime I have spoken up which led me to just not report and to stay silent. 

 

[Eliza]

+1

My best advice to people is if its something that would get your ass beat IRL its best not to say or do in game, people forget that this is a lot of people's escape from whatever they gotta deal with in the real world.

Doing stuff like this out of the blue says a lot about a player. You can get your IC points across or getbacks without being a pervert.

Edited February 5, 2025 by Eliza

[Harveyyy]

+1 if someone is being cringe and is acting in a disgusting manner, and is pushing people away from the server, female or not, they shouldn't be allowed here. I like the proposals and the private report section.

Edited February 5, 2025 by Harveyyy

[JDogg0417]

I am very surprised there is not already a system in place to report in a safe manner. This should be something that can be done fairly easy and quickly. everyone should be able to report situations without fear. 

[Purely]

Being a female on the server and having a character who is known for being flirty/sexual is a dangerous mix but one that presents new roleplay to the norm. Interactions with the true *members* of the community who have an impact on the server are normally positive and enjoyable. In my experience those people who I'm close with know how to joke, what to say, what not to say to me and visa versa, it's often the driveby cat calling in game that gives me as a player stress but the worst is dms on discord from community members who think I'm my character and believe its okay to say disgusting things and become hostile when rejection comes there direction.

 

I think there is too much opinion based decision making on the 'Gross RP' catagory to make it a straight ban. But the other idea of having a private area to discuss these issues within a safe channel will allow us as the female playerbase to pin point offenders and understand those who repeatedly make inappropriate remarks and cause distress to females, and differiate those who just made a one-time bad joke.

[Umzzy]

+1 This is meant to be a safe place for everyone involved. Having played both main types of RP for a very long time (Crim and LEO) I have noticed crim obviously having a lot more potential where women get attacked and potentially sexually harrassed due to "gang beef" which is fucking stupid. Having led numerous two gangs in the last 3 years, kidnapping has always and seems to always be a massive cause. Kidnapping rules should be changed, at this point people kidnap just to kidnap and humiliate people, there is no actual RP. Aim a gun at them, take them to a random parking garage, shave their heads, sexually harrass them and spit on their heads or slap them, every single time the same story. There is a reason I have always kept my factions away from kidnapping RP unless we have a genuine story/RP to follow. One side starts it, the other does it back, both wake up at parking and get kidnapped. It leads to people not wanting to play the game. Imagine playing a VIDEO GAME, and being scared to log in purely because you're going to get kidnapped and potentially SA'd. A solution could possibly be that to kidnap someone you not only need an actual rp plan of what you wish to do, but also making sure there is NO type of sexual rp involved. 

And as a lot of others have said, a private system/page where reports can be made and kept between as little people as possible is a massive need. Last thing we want is people not wanting to play this game because of the fear of this. I know to most it might sound like its not common but it really is, to the point ive had a member in my own gang and massively contributing member of the community stop playing because of the fear of it.

[OBESE]

Let me just start by saying that I dont see anyone coming here and going against this suggestion, purely because of the backlash the person might get for disagreeing.

My point of view on this issue is that no one should be put through stuff that they feel uncomfortable about, not just talking about girls and SA type of stuff, and that is a whole different issue that I find as it is not shared. One is put above other.
I apply the same way of talking to a woman ICly as I would in real life, because those are my morals, that's how I was raised - to respect woman.

Sadly couple of years ago I got burned by applying my real life standards to an RP scenario and in somewhat way doing what we all call "white knight" thing, just to learn that the girl wanted the attention she was getting, so my stance on trying to "protect" girl characters IC changed, because I did not want to look like a fool once more. I still will call out if something is too much, but on simpler things, especially if it's name calling etc. I dont pay attention to.

Now this suggestion is for the female population of the server, but how would it be applied, considering that if not majority, then equal amount of female characters are actually played by guys. That would mean removing gross RP, as mentioned in OP, for good to make it fair.

The next question would be - where is the line? Nothing that even hints of a sexual type of comment? Calling someone beautiful? Name dropping someone a Bitch or a Cunt? Actually getting physical? Do we leave the level of uncomfortable to interpretation of the female character? What about double standards?

Reason why Im asking this is because recently I've seen the raise of "white knights" in the community that will go into the battle for their queens for the smallest things that are just ridiculous. I was pressed by one of these "white knights" because I said "Oh damn!" about a comment that was made, but this "white knight" thought I was commenting on his girls ass, which didn't even cross my mind and that immediately killed the whole vibe for me to be there. And this is not the only example...

I do agree that there should be a separate section for these type of reports, hidden from the public, so one sees them, just the involved party's, because there definitely are things that are too much, especially when it comes to actions, not just words. These things should carry weight and punishments.

At the end I will paraphrase what Bala you said in a different discussion - This is an RP server and RP is all about experience, but nowhere it states that the RP experience has to be only good. - so I hope to see from you more suggestions of this sort to find ways how to make people less uncomfortable.

P.S I feel like it's not our community's or individuals fault, when the whole world sexualises everything to a point where a lot of things for a lot of young minds have become a normalised thing.

Edited February 5, 2025 by OBESE

[Dred]

+1 to the private reports section for the harassment and most of this overall.

As far as GrossRP in regards to ANYTHING of a sexual nature, I most certainly agree in that regard.

 

There are other GrossRP's like some minor torture and the like a lot of us have been guilty of partaking in and I still feel with consent it's completely okay as long as limits are discussed. I had a very long ongoing RP with my legal character and @Carl Vespucciwhere he took A TON of time to reach out to me OOCly  about what's okay and not okay and constantly check OOCly on comfort levels where my character was tortured and I feel in the regards of that. It can still be okay on that GrossRP realm with all parties understanding and

As said and agreed by the playerbase and staff in general though that most of that nasty sexual natured GrossRP just has no home here. 

This was very well said Bala and well put forth.

[AtlasOLimbo]

+1
This could be off-topic/derailing the conversation but I think it should be said and has been talked about quite a bit here. People seem way too comfortable using all kinds of grotesque language towards one another, especially intending to shock and offend the player on the other side.
I believe the administration team has to take a more pro-active approach to these clear perverted, bigoted and intentionally offensive statements. People can cry "snowflake" as much as they'd like. Like said, a lot of the shit said on this server would get you put to the ground in a moment's notice.
Just because you're behind a screen doesn't mean you get to say this shit.

Given I've been in nearly every legal faction there is, in nearly every one of them I've witnessed a female player and or female character being harassed for even that. And if their voice doesn't "match" their gender? Woo-wee.

We should strive to do better.

[alexalex303]

I think this is a symptom of a bigger issue: most people do not roleplay characters on this server. I've personally heard people state "what character, I just say what I want to say".

It would be easier to dissociate if it was truly your character being hit on rather than the person behind the screen, but that is simply not the community that we have -- take for example any player with a female character that does not use their mic, or that has a different than expected voice. The reactions will be wildly different, even though, that is the exact same character they were before. 

I don't necessarily have a solution, but I do think that any solution should keep in mind the fact that most comments are addressed at the person behind the screen, and not their characters -- and that will make people uncomfortable.

[Jordan]

13 minutes ago, OBESE said:

Let me just start by saying that I dont see anyone coming here and going against this suggestion, purely because of the backlash the person might get for disagreeing.

My point of view on this issue is that no one should be put through stuff that they feel uncomfortable about, not just talking about girls and SA type of stuff, and that is a whole different issue that I find as it is not shared. One is put above other.
I apply the same way of talking to a woman ICly as I would in real life, because those are my morals, that's how I was raised - to respect woman.

Sadly couple of years ago I got burned by applying my real life standards to an RP scenario and in somewhat way doing what we all call "white knight" thing, just to learn that the girl wanted the attention she was getting, so my stance on trying to "protect" girl characters IC changed, because I did not want to look like a fool once more. I still will call out if something is too much, but on simpler things, especially if it's name calling etc. I dont pay attention to.

Now this suggestion is for the female population of the server, but how would it be applied, considering that if not majority, then equal amount of female characters are actually played by guys. That would mean removing gross RP, as mentioned in OP, for good to make it fair.

The next question would be - where is the line? Nothing that even hints of a sexual type of comment? Calling someone beautiful? Name dropping someone a Bitch or a Cunt? Actually getting physical? Do we leave the level of uncomfortable to interpretation of the female character? What about double standards?

Reason why Im asking this is because recently I've seen the raise of "white knights" in the community that will go into the battle for their queens for the smallest things that are just ridiculous. I was pressed by one of these "white knights" because I said "Oh damn!" about a comment that was made, but this "white knight" thought I was commenting on his girls ass, which didn't even cross my mind and that immediately killed the whole vibe for me to be there. And this is not the only example...

I do agree that there should be a separate section for these type of reports, hidden from the public, so one sees them, just the involved party's, because there definitely are things that are too much, especially when it comes to actions, not just words. These things should carry weight and punishments.

At the end I will paraphrase what Bala you said in a different discussion - This is an RP server and RP is all about experience, but nowhere it states that the RP experience has to be only good. - so I hope to see from you more suggestions of this sort to find ways how to make people less uncomfortable.

There is no "White Knighting" that is a completely made up and belligerent term. The idea of "White Knighting" is men feeling insecure when defending a woman because they worry about what it makes them look like. These problems are REAL, these are REAL people behind the screens and regardless of the RP of the matter, women deal with this stuff every day some deal with much much worse. 80% of people use gaming as an escape from reality, using gaming as an escape only to come and deal with the same things over again is dangerous. As a community we should fight for the comfort of our members. I personally see no reason this shouldn't be an active effort within staff to rid this kind of stuff from the community. Absolutely NO ONE benefits from RP like that, if that IS something YOU want to RP I would like to see some sort of rule put in place that the RP has to be agreed upon BEFORE any sort of IC actions/discussion is had, as it removes any sort of possible discomfort. However I admit Ideally I'd like for that RP to be strictly forbidden. I don't make the rules im only here to share my opinion.

[OBESE]

8 minutes ago, Jordan said:

There is no "White Knighting" that is a completely made up and belligerent term. The idea of "White Knighting" is men feeling insecure when defending a woman because they worry about what it makes them look like. These problems are REAL, these are REAL people behind the screens and regardless of the RP of the matter, women deal with this stuff every day some deal with much much worse. 80% of people use gaming as an escape from reality, using gaming as an escape only to come and deal with the same things over again is dangerous. As a community we should fight for the comfort of our members. I personally see no reason this shouldn't be an active effort within staff to rid this kind of stuff from the community. Absolutely NO ONE benefits from RP like that, if that IS something YOU want to RP I would like to see some sort of rule put in place that the RP has to be agreed upon BEFORE any sort of IC actions/discussion is had, as it removes any sort of possible discomfort. However I admit Ideally I'd like for that RP to be strictly forbidden. I don't make the rules im only here to share my opinion.

Im not sure do you think I disagree with what you said, because I do agree. I also think that there are other things that should be banned because they make people feel uncomfortable and as you said, no one wants to feel uncomfortable during RP. 

About the "White knighting" it doesn't matter what you think about the term, it is used to describe certain actions of men to protect women. Most of the times "white knighting" is used when men are trying defend/protect women when there is no need for it, like in my example I wrote. One thing is to protect when needed and other thing is to protect when you think it's needed.

[Shining0103]

To be honest, I've been here for 5 years at this point, and it's only been an ongoing trend for the past 2 years to introduce a sexual factor in any possible interaction with a female character, especially if the player behind is a woman.

I have been before in HOURS long kidnapping situations on my first criminal character, as the victim, and while there was some pretty graphical gore, none of the people who ever participated turned into something of a sexual nature and made sure boundaries were set beforehand. It used to be common fucking knowledge and decency, players did not use to go as much out of their way to make it uncomfortable to the point where you needed to beg in /b for them to stop.  As of now, the situation has become unbearable because the players themselves got weirder about it.

I do appreciate the idea of a safe space in which members of the community can report these issues without shame, and I wish some of these punishments were enforced in certain situations, but I can't help but feel like it could also become a double-yielded sword and be potentially abused or used as a shield to avoid IC consequences to IC actions (e.g. shit-talking)

I also feel quite uneasy about the amount of hypocrisy in some of the answers to this thread, as I *know* I've been called certain names before by said people. It's all nice and well until an unfavorable situation comes up ig.

 

Edited February 5, 2025 by Shining0103

[Jordan]

7 minutes ago, OBESE said:

Im not sure do you think I disagree with what you said, because I do agree. I also think that there are other things that should be banned because they make people feel uncomfortable and as you said, no one wants to feel uncomfortable during RP. 

About the "White knighting" it doesn't matter what you think about the term, it is used to describe certain actions of men to protect women. Most of the times "white knighting" is used when men are trying defend/protect women when there is no need for it, like in my example I wrote. One thing is to protect when needed and other thing is to protect when you think it's needed.

I know you're not disagreeing im simply disagreeing with your point of "white knighting" because in my opinion that shouldn't be factored into the conversation of the safety of our community members as it benefits no one.

[OBESE]

7 minutes ago, Jordan said:

I know you're not disagreeing im simply disagreeing with your point of "white knighting" because in my opinion that shouldn't be factored into the conversation of the safety of our community members as it benefits no one.

Yeh, the point of the "white knighting" was that because there isn't this safe space or rules around it, there is a raise of male players being very protective over their female members, which often leads to what I mean by "white knighting" or in other words trying to protect the female character for smallest shit. I've literally seen it with almost any crim group that has female characters in.

Overall OG players from 2018 and 2019 will know that the situation of SA or in general behaviour towards women on the server has changed drastically and in comparison I would say is rare (not saying it doesn't exist, saying that back in the day it was way worse and frequent). Now this is the step towards abolishing it for good.

[Pumpkin]

5 minutes ago, OBESE said:

Yeh, the point of the "white knighting" was that because there isn't this safe space or rules around it, there is a raise of male players being very protective over their female members, which often leads to what I mean by "white knighting" or in other words trying to protect the female character for smallest shit. I've literally seen it with almost any crim group that has female characters in.

Overall OG players from 2018 and 2019 will know that the situation of SA or in general behaviour towards women on the server has changed drastically and in comparison I would say is rare (not saying it doesn't exist, saying that back in the day it was way worse and frequent). Now this is the step towards abolishing it for good.

It is not rare at all it happens every single day. Just because you dont see it as openly anymore doesnt mean the consistency of it has decreased it simply is more hidden and then the female player base are not comfortable in reporting because it can cause a traumatic response for those that have to deal with it irl where they dont wish to relive the situation through reports and have to argue their own boundries being crossed even when they were vocal about the boundries at the beginning.

 

Weve reached that stage where more and more women are leaving the city because theyve simply had enough, they are tired theyve been receiving the same stuff day in and day out with no regards to basic human decency. Amazing women of the community with amazing personalities have been dealing with it EVERY.SINGLE.DAY to the point where its disminshed their light, we have to change our responses towards typically men in the community and come across as overly friendly and nice otherwise we pay the price through gross rp or continous harassment 

 

Point being 

It remains the same consistency if not worse in my opinion the only difference is the REPEAT offenders are still within the community and have since gotten clever about it and have made the women of the community feels so small and powerless that we are exhausted of hearing the same shit over and over and over so we leave we take breaks or leave forever or avoid men who we dont know or current friends dont know all together 

 

I like the idea of a private place for people to report sensitive topics where its stictly the admin and the people involved in the report i think it could help to some degree but there needs to be more gross rp should be gone point blank in my opinion most of that kind of rp that ive recently seen have been rushed and a spur of the moment idea And then the victim if it is asked in /b whilst surround (typically) by a bunch of people to enjoy the show which in itself can make someone feel pressured it should be dicussed privately in dms before the situation is even starting to fully grasp everyone no goes as that way theres valid proof of exactly what is said and all parties are agreeing, as a bare minimum that should be the case but un my opinion ill be thankful for grossrp to be gone once and for all.

 

 

 

[Felarx]

1 hour ago, Dred said:

+1 to the private reports section for the harassment and most of this overall.

As far as GrossRP in regards to ANYTHING of a sexual nature, I most certainly agree in that regard.

 

There are other GrossRP's like some minor torture and the like a lot of us have been guilty of partaking in and I still feel with consent it's completely okay as long as limits are discussed. I had a very long ongoing RP with my legal character and @Carl Vespucciwhere he took A TON of time to reach out to me OOCly  about what's okay and not okay and constantly check OOCly on comfort levels where my character was tortured and I feel in the regards of that. It can still be okay on that GrossRP realm with all parties understanding and

As said and agreed by the playerbase and staff in general though that most of that nasty sexual natured GrossRP just has no home here. 

This was very well said Bala and well put forth.

I think this is a perfect example of how it should be played out and massive props to @Carl Vespucci for checking if it was all ok. People could genuinely take what he did onboard and attempt to do this in the future..

[Bala]

I thought it was somewhat of rare occurrence up until maybe like 6 months ago, you'd hear the odd thing but now it's a new situation every couple weeks from someone else.

I don't know if it's because people are more willing to talk about it or if it's happening more, either way I think we've got to be more definitive about it as a community.