Kazjii

I believe that there should be some balance and restructuring for sure, one hundred percent. Having criminals with money means more RP for us; HOWEVER, I dont think the fixes you suggested would be the best implementations we could do. On first hand, it would be a development scripting nightmare to find a right balance of the salary system if the previous hours before death were wiped away, but also wouldnt be fair for the players who can only get on for 5 hours in a week which is the minimum in LEO factions. I would push for and wouldnt mind adding to the thread a purposed system that made the deceased LEO player lose X amount of money or Y items. Sounds good in nature but when confronted with the constant DMing we go through, wouldnt be such a viable route. Possibly if you would like to write up something that entails fairness of not losing hours but rather losing some type of monetary asset, I would add to the thread.

| Server Update Mega Thread | Kazjii, Aieos & DrPathetic Good afternoon Eclipse kings and queens. Aieos, DrPathetic and I have been working on this thread for some time now. Essentially what this thread is meant to be used for is a large list of ideas for the developers to snatch things from. As staff, we understand the contrast of realistic implementations (not saying that most don't, but the developers can't possibly implement every idea under the moon) for balancing reasons and other outside notions. Below is a long list, some that will sound familiar and some that are new in thought that we haven't seen on this thread. If anyone has constructive criticism or slight changes to some ideas, we would like for you to comment or quote the post. (please try to give actual criticism, not just “-1 hate it”) We will sift through responses regularly to change the OP if we feel like it is something we agree with and it is something that the developers will fancy. We welcome all to add criticism and additional ideas to be added to the list. Green text = Additions from the comments PD / SD Changes As I'm sure some of you are rolling your eyes, this entire post is supposed to be a completely unbiased section of suggestions. This means a compilation of buffs, nerfs, and entire changes. For LEO rp, we believe that LEO has been given tremendous resources, counting both great additions and some unbalanced strong additions. While yes LEO is supposed to be stronger due to the vast funding from the government, I believe some things (obviously this is an OOC forum so IC changes will not be brought up here) should change for some slight balance. [Tweak] Tasers should scriptly only shoot once or twice before “running out of ammo”. Many times, there have been issues where members of LEO factions use their taser nearly a dozen times while trying to neutralize their inmate. I believe that adding a feature where you would need to replace the taser in the /fl menu or adding a longer “recharge” time would allow criminals to have a larger chance to escape. Realistically, a taser is shot once and then needs time to recharge to shoot again. +Change the taser effect from 10 seconds to 30/60 seconds - @Victor Einhart [Tweak] There should be a very small percent chance (ideally probably around 4-6 % depending on how many criminal faction members there are online) that PD/SD is informed about drop shipments. Why I say to add this is because large amounts of gang members will roam in packs to their drop locations which can be called in as suspicious behavior around “X area”. I believe this would be a better solution than asking the NPCs when within the area as it would not be totally realistic for a king pin to snitch on his own clients. [Addition] Adding a feature in the MDC to create arrest reports so that the player creating the report can just upload entirely from in-game so that their focus does not shift and miss out on possible RP events. Example : MDC has a format where the player puts in information, the player clicks submit, the copy/paste BB code is there, the player goes to the in-game government app and copy/pastes easily, done. I believe this will be more immersive where we can move more towards an all in-game experience instead of having 12 tabs open. (Or just have the government website accessible as a webpage from the MDC) [Tweak] Scriptly adding the function of needing a trunk open to grab the road spikes. As of now, you can /fl and grab a 6 foot long spike strip. As nonrp as it is, it would be more immersive and realistic for this to be scripted into where you need to have an open trunk near you to grab the spikes. The same should apply for doing any /fl thing such as changing clothes or getting weapons [Addition] Adding a scripted tackle for when running after inmates. If their taser runs out of charge like said above, they can result in a tackle which will be scriptly placed by a certain key bind or something… not too sure. But would be a balance of the taser not being completely unlimited ammo but also on the same coin, not nearly reliable as an option to stop someone. Also potentially inflict minor damage to both people involved in a tackle. [Addition] Police helicopter spotlight. Adding a spotlight like the one from single player where the co-pilot can shine it on the car and be useful. This can help the units on the ground know where the car is going during the night time or allow for more immersive foot pursuit support. This would benefit both LEO for visibility but also criminals to see where LEO’s are looking. [Tweak / Addition] If some of the criminal suggestions do get pushed and implemented, the need of surveillance and patrolling will be entirely needed. Adding more security cameras to cover high valued ATMs and gun stores will need to be a must to balance the new additions if they were to be added. It could also add filler CCTV to be flicked through so looking for incidents happening. [Addition] Vehicle tracking devices. For DB and DPB where they rely on intel, implementing a command where the LEOs can track certain vehicles similar to how LEOs can see the blue blip of other faction spawned vehicles. This would need to be heavily RPd and in great detail with how strong it can be. Example: “/me Places a small abrasive tracking plate on the rear bumper out of plain sight and secures the device” // “/do the small device would be blinking indicating it is on and running” // “/me pairs it to the phone he is on and begins to send the signal to the tracker” // “/do It would not be tracking the vehicle”. Obviously this wont be a regularly used commodity but only for HVTs and for operations. The command to track the vehicle can be “/TrackvehicleLP [LP]”. To balance for criminals, the /me actions should not be done in /low in populated places like banks, stores, pier, etc so that the criminal party can return RP if they are in reasonable distance to notice someone fiddling with their vehicle. Criminal Changes A popular opinion among the server is that criminal roleplay needs to be improved. Not necessarily the RP itself, but the activities that criminals have the ability to do. We believe that additional activities where criminals can make money (large and small amounts) would be incredibly beneficial to the overall standing with the perception of RP. More activities = more fun and activity = more situations for criminals AND police. A true win-win for all sides. [Addition] Black-market Medic. After shootouts, criminals run to the hospital as quickly as they can to revive their buddies before cops flood the hospital for a possible arrest. I believe if we added 3-4 NPCs around the map that healed/revived injured players for a lesser price than the doctor at the hospitals, criminals would have an easier time reviving their buddies. Realistically, bloods and crips don't go to their local urgent care for medical needs, they have an underground guy that will help to the best of their ability. Now with this, the healing will be on a sliding scale where you will pay for the service but run into a chance that the amount of HP gifted back can range from 25-100. There should also be several of these scattered around to prevent camping and to offer variety, at least 1 up north and one in the city, ICly they would be considered illegal. I.E - Friend dies, carry them to Black-market Medic, drop them on the revive point, pay a small fee to doctor to further heal their low HP. [Tweak] Public drug labs. Increase drug crafting speed when utilizing public drug labs. Drug labs used to be a very large part of the criminal roleplay experience, but now with at-home labs being added nobody utilizes them anymore due to them being out in the open where it's very easy to get robbed while waiting 20+ minutes for your drug haul to cook. This change would increase the crafting speed only for public scripted labs, making them significantly faster than that of the portable at-home labs. High risk gets high reward. Would be an easier way for players without a property, or funds, to start their drug empire and get into the trade, without completely devaluing the safety of at-home labs. Speeds could be as much as 50% or possibly even 70% faster than portable labs. The quality and amount of drugs produced would be the same, only the time required for creation is decreased. [Addition / Tweak] Drug Effects. As of right now drugs serve no purpose other than to sell to a NPC. This change proposes that drugs be given an actual effect upon consumption, to benefit the user temporarily. These could be good for mixing up firefights, and providing a sort of strategy to their use. As well as increasing roleplay between players who create drugs, and want to buy drugs without creating it themselves. It’s up to you to negotiate a reasonable deal between each other. Timers for consuming drugs will be increased, in order to prevent rapid use of these mid-firefights, plus can be considered Non-RP to do so unless in a safe location away from the direct danger. These values and effects may be changed to better balance each other if added to the game. Drug Effects Marijuana: [Positive]Increased wellness regeneration similar to being near a hospital. [Negative]Only lasts a few minutes & Hunger sets to 5% when it is taken (MUNCHIES). Cocaine: [Positive]Wellness temporarily set to 100 (move faster while in critical condition, able to jump if wellness was low, used to get back into the action faster), [Negative]Wellness gets set to 10 after a set duration. (will negatively affect the player after it wears off, shouldn’t last too long, just a quick ~60 second burst of energy then it’s back to the low wellness slowness. A very risky strategy that if used correctly, can provide interesting results, especially after injury) LSD: [Positive]You feel great, this helps remove addiction to other drugs, but will also remove their effects if still active. [Negative]Easy to get addicted to LSD, won’t affect LSD addiction. (good for if you popped a bunch of other drugs and have all sorts of addictions dragging you down, and want to only deal with one) Meth: [Positive]Run faster [Negative]If you’re addicted you walk slow and cannot run until either addiction wears off or you get treated for it. Heroine: [Positive]Give a small amount of armor, [Negative]Thirst Set to 0% So hp will drain slowly. [higher chance to get addicted than other drugs] Crack: [Positive]Heals the player by 30hp (cannot exceed 70hp total just like passive healing), [Negative]Hunger Set to 0% so hp will drain slowly. [higher chance to get addicted than other drugs] [Addition] Gun store heists. Adding ability to rob gun stores for the reward of grabbing weapons. This should act similarly to the bank jobs where it can only be done every so often and will be incredibly hard to pull off. With that being said, the outcome of robbing said stores will have some sort of RNG. 80% chance of grabbing any number of .50s, 35% chance of grabbing a shotgun / micro, 4-9% of grabbing an AK. With the guns itself, attachments can have a small percent chance to drop as well. To reiterate, this should be treated similarly to the bank heists or if not more extreme. Robbing these stores can result in HUGE profits or HUGE sentences so playing your cards right is a huge factor. Additionally, this adds weapons into the economy in a new way. Instead of everything coming from stolen player pistols and illegal drops, this adds a new source of items. [Tweak] Criminal Faction Size. When creating an empire, you plan to be the strongest that anyone could ever imagine being… up to 40 members. I believe that there should be some competition with PD and SD and their combined ~300 members. With increasing the faction size, the amount of back up and reinforcements can bring back the kingpin status we all loved with the Zetas, Triads, and Aztecas. While yes, this is a faction management issue, large organized crime has outrageous power and unlimited cool possibilities for great RP for the server. [Addition] ATM Robberies. Add the ability for criminals to rob ATMs off RNG basis. Criminals can walk up to the atm with a screwdriver or crowbar where a loading bar similar to when you eat a burger or drink a water will pop up and start loading. After a set amount of time, let's say 2 minutes of “breaking into the machine”, you will be prompted if you were successful or not and you will start grabbing cash similar to robbing a general store. I believe this will allow for additional activities for criminals in regards to organized crime and another way for additional income to come in. [Rework / Addition] Changing the RNG of lockpicks to a small minigame similar to Skyrim. You have two lockpicks and you need to find the sweet spot to successfully break into the car. Not only will this add a small fun game into how lockpicks work, it will be a skill a player can learn and get better at over time. [Rework] Shipments. Official criminal organizations have the ability to order items in the forms of drops which allow for illegal items to be brought into the game. As this ability is something that is longed for and is practically a benefit and reward for being a good example of what a good criminal faction looks like, this system should be reworked to be more in the hands of the criminals. How I believe it should work goes as follows: -> Gang A buys “X items” on the market -> Gang A picks the location of where they would like for the shipment to drop -> Gang A goes to the location to pick up the items -> If the location they pick is close to another faction's turf, it will notify them on an RNG basis. This allows for a few things. It makes it to where criminals have a choice of where they would like to have it dropped at so there can be some planning on how they can go upon fighting if they need to or how to escape the police if they need to do that as well. But also makes the RP inclusionary if another faction is notified about the drop close to their turf. It can lead to a shootout or additional RP that a lot of crims long for. [Addition] Drug remnants at labs. Realistically, if someone is cooking at a lab, they will make a small mess. Far fetched in itself, but scripting in an item with some type of rarity that will randomly appear at labs would be “spilt X drug” which can be sold for a lower price compared to the full synthetic counterpart. Not much viability but would be a fun thing for criminals to look for while running labs for extra profit. [Addition] Adding a “burner phone” mechanic. Criminals can buy burner-batteries that last a short amount of time and cant be recharged via shipments. The functionality of this being that cops cant track phones while the phone being on with a burner-battery installed. Tracking abilities with the phone staying on remains the same. [Addition] Hostage animation. Adding a /duoanim to take someone hostage where their gun is right to the hostages temple and you are very close to the hostage meaning that some officers who arrive later and cant catch the /me or /do's will see that the hostage is in direct threat meaning any shots that would be taken would be severe to both parties, the command would work like frisking someone doing the rp of it and then performing the action with the command. - @Krish Roshan Freelance Change The first thing most new-players or newly created characters do is grab a freelance job and grind hours alone. Instead, we think that freelance jobs should be more entertaining and versatile. With changes that are surrounded by cooperation and unity, the world for new players and monetary gain will be something to look forward to and not such a drag. [Addition] Co-op freelance. Ability to invite others to your freelance job, and work together on it. Say if you’re doing the garbage job, and your friend is with you, if you’re at the job site you can use the command “/invitejob (receiverinfo)” and they’ll receive a request to join you on your job. “/acceptjob (receiverinfo)” Once on a job with your friend, you’ll both see the same job destinations, both be able to complete the objective and it counts for both of you, and have access to the same vehicle with keys (player who started the job will have primary ownership, invited player receives temporary keys). These two players can now perform the job activities together, and will both get paid the same amount as you would if you did the job solo, so that there’s no downside to working with a friend. In order to prevent abuse of this mechanic, there will be a requirement for the invited player to stay within a certain distance of the scripted vehicle (much like with official faction salary) or they will be automatically removed from the invited job without pay. This could allow for opportunities for example one player is the driver and one does the ‘work’ and would just overall add RP to otherwise single player activities. This system could work for the following jobs: Garbage Truck, Union Depository, GoPostal, PostOP, Coroner (main player would accept calls) [Addition] Bus job changes. This change would improve the bus driver job to make it serve an actual purpose. Doing the job itself would still function exactly the same, this is an update for the passenger side of the job. Bus stops will be scripted around the map and marked on the GPS. You will be able to interact with a marker at the bus stop that opens a menu with multiple options to select. These options would list the different bus routes and the number of active drivers on each route. Upon clicking one of the routes it opens another window possibly containing an image of part of the map, with the bus route highlighted, and stops marked. This will allow players to see where each route goes, and if there is a driver on the route that passes the location they need to get to. I believe this will motivate players to look out for, and ride the busses, and overall improve bus driver RP with actual passengers. The rides will still be free. If you want to get somewhere faster, pay for a citybee or a taxi, if you have time to wait, try a bus! [Addition] Adding a freelance towing service so that the mechanics aren't overwhelmed by the amount of towing requests. Adding a new command such as “/towservice [message]” and having it be sent to both mechanics and freelancers, whoever accepts it first will get the job. Both services to the player will be free, but the freelancer (since not on a salary) will be paid once the job is marked as done or the car has been unhooked. Only mechanics will be able to impound still.The worker would do /tow LP which would give a prompt to the owner of the vehicle (if in range) who would then be able to /accepttow LP or something similar so prevent this freelance job being abused and taking random vehicles to be chopped or stolen. Overall Server Changes With the server being in great shape as it is, it is important that some things either be rebalanced or changed entirely, not to mention miscellaneous things be added for overall activities to do, etc. [Addition] Adding fishing licenses for larger monetary profits. Of course you can still fish on the pier and catch little fish, but obtaining a fishing license will allow for more fish to be scriptly caught which will have varying “market prices” depending on how often people are turning in their fish and what fish they are turning in. For example, a small hammerhead shark that was caught deep off the shore from the city will sell for a lot more than a clownfish caught off the beach. This will give an incentive for boats to be bought and used more frequently and also will allow for people to come together and bond over their “fishing trips” and not their “pier party”. No hate for the pier. [Addition] Car jump-start kits. Adding a buyable jump-start kit from any general store that will not have any other purpose than to start a car that has been damaged into a perma-stalled state, in order to get to a mechanic for actual repair. This would be a one time use and will not repair any vehicle health in itself. ~$3500 estimate. [Addition] Revive Kits. Adding an expensive option to immediately revive a friend once downed. This option would be very expensive in nature and will not be able to be used on yourself. This can happen similar to the ctrl+x to pick lock and will take 1-2 minutes to actually revive the downed player with low health and no wellness impact. This is an alternative for criminals who do not want to go to public hospitals after shootouts but will have to bear the price instead of receiving free treatment from a simple 911 call to the medics. ~$10,000 estimate. [Addition / Rework] Group texts. Adding the ability to have group text chats of up to 10 people. This will help gangs and normal friends plan more RP opportunities and allow for general usage for the phone. As of now, the phone is no comparison to the radio, adding group texting options will allow for a greater desire to use the phone and be on it more. [Addition] Adding consignment/thrift stores. Currently, the only plus side of taking additional things off people when they have been injured is to stockpile for future use. I believe that if there was a small drop-off point similar to the meat drop-off or mining drop-off where people can drop their unused equipment / clothing items / furniture. This system will give the donator a small amount of money back and will decrease the total amount of active resources in the world that wont be used. Additionally, this can be a small side hustle for some and can act as some passive income. [Rework] Changing all player-ran entities such as general stores, gun stores, and vehicle dealerships to having the same management UI. The gun store ownership UI allows for managers to access treasury and to order stock for the store using the funds within the treasury itself. With general stores, people can manage property permissions but cannot do anything else. The “managers” cannot order stock, handle treasury, or anything else to help out the store - realistically, stores will have managers so that the CEO isn't doing all the work. Additionally, this will make running general stores easier as the current UI for ordering stock is time consuming and visually confusing to the owners. Changing the UI that is used for the gun store will make operations much easier. [Addition] Seatbelt script. Adding a command that lessens the chance of being thrown out of a car after a hard crash. For example, “/seatbelt” would be used once entering the car and would be good until leaving the car. If the player gets into a crash, they will have a lower chance of not being flung out of the windshield if wearing a seatbelt and for those players who don't have a seatbelt, their chances will be much higher of being flung after a high impact crash. [Rework] Vol of each item should be looked over again and adjusted to a realistic volume. We all know that the new decimal counts and did an impact on all the server from Leo/Civ/Crim. For LEOs, detective that holds briefcases full of clothe now be like 12 vol the same weight as a pump which I find it weird. For Civ if they are carrying a lot of items it will be very hard for them to carry stuff and it will be messy. Now for Crims, we all know it made a huge impact on making drugs and getting shipments, so for a bag of weed it will be the same weight of a pump in the bag. It's not up to me but I feel the materials should be lowered to 0.1 / 0.2 depending on it, as 10 weed plants are not the same weight of a .50 realistically. Right now Crates are the same weight as a drill, I would say if the crate can be lowered to 30, this will help Civ/Crim in their daily RP, from mining to cooking drugs. - @DaMasterSplinter Prison Changes Prison currently has a lot of OOC issues, a lot stemming from the boredom of the time needing to be spent there. The following suggestions can increase enjoyment from both DOC and Criminals who have to spend a lot of time there. [Rework] Stamps - The time you get off from jail when using stamps is abysmal currently and not worth doing. This should be increased to encourage stamp usage from the below suggestions. Stamps should not convert to cash on release if the following get implemented, and instead stamp usage would be more focused on the prison store & getting time off. With the change that stamps do not = $$$, DOC guards could give out a set of stamps every X minutes to an inmate which would be a positive reinforcement for good behavior. These stamp-making things would also decrease the need for guards to give out food like charity because once an inmate loses their 500 stamps, that’s it, they starve. [Addition] Prison Jobs - Mining right now is good for stamps, but is limited to 1 or 2 inmates doing it before it’s all dried out for another 10 minutes. By adding other scripted jobs which could all be simple action timers such as: “Clean your cell” where an inmate is assigned a random cell when entering prison that every 20(or whatever) minutes allows them to interact and clean it with a few action timers which would result in a stamp reward. “Cook” - In the kitchen they would be rewarded with stamps or food/drink after spending a few minutes in the kitchen “Laundry” - The upstairs laundry room would allow inmates to be rewarded with stamps when they spend time in the laundry room doing things like getting dirty clothes, putting them in the washing machine, taking them out, folding them, storing them etc. “Read a book” - In the recreation room beside the kitchen an inmate could interact with the books there which would be a script implementation of ‘staying out of trouble’ “Shower” - Utilise the prison shower to stop being stinky. [Addition / Rework] Prison Store - The prison store acts like a regular store but for stamps. I suggest the addition of luxury items that inmates could use for a variety of things: “Cigarettes” - Allow purchasing of cigarettes “MP3 Players” - Now speakers work, how about a MP3 player which is a short-range, low volume, cheaper speaker that someone can hold in their hand (and drop with P). Commands would be something like /mp3url link. “Painkillers” - Painkiller items added to the store but have a cap on how many you can buy during a single sentence. Would allow for inmates who have fought to recover and also have some potential RP from taking a few too many. “Book” - Would replace /exchangestamps and be a usable item with a long action timer that would reduce the sentence of an inmate currently reading it. This would also be an item you can only buy a certain amount of, especially if implemented with the “buy stamps” option to prevent rich crims from buying off a murder charge. “Buy Stamps” - This option at the store would allow inmates to buy stamps to use in the prison store with cash from their bank with a ratio of $1,000 = 200 stamps (This money would go to the prison treasury) Would you like to add to our thread? Aieos, DrPathetic and I all encourage members of this community to voice thought and expression in a healthy way. This thread is the key way to write down your thoughts without making a post of your own. How we ask you to format your suggestions if you wish to add our thread will be below. If you don't agree with one of our topics or how we perceive the best way of adding something, adding your opinion and thoughts can also make it as an update to our current topics where we will credit your ideas. Create a post expressing an addition, a rework, or a nerf/buff to something in game and be sure to label if it is a PD/SD, crim, freelance job, overall server change, or prison idea. Also be sure to clarify in the front of the post with a "[Tweak], [Rework], or [Addition] so we can keep responses and suggestions organized. Within you post, express why you believe this idea should be implemented and consider how feasible this will be to script in and develop. Does this require a whole new line of code or can we use a system that is currently in game and adapt it to your idea? And finally, add some pictures or detailed examples of how this could benefit the server on all behalfs. Ask yourself, does this seem balanced and does this seem like something that would benefit everyone's RP. If we do decide to pull ideas from the comments, we will surely tag you as credit after it has been edited into the post. You deserve the credit and for it to be recognized!

I think this is a great idea. I dont think creating a faction would be the best idea but rather a freelance job that allows pick up similar to the trucking job would be the best fit. Call comes in for a tow job and someone can go out to take. Would be a nice addition and variety - would also help cut down in wait times as mechanics are often busy.

A poem, for aieos My Aieos, My heart goes out for you day and night I will do everything even if it means i have to fight You are the cutie to my patootie Even makes me want to be micheal jacksons "hee hee" You are so cool and sweet as could be You make me want to sprout into a big tree Love, your Kazzy Poo Please tag @Aieos so he notices me :')

welcome to the server! hope the lspd thing works

Best of luck.

This discussion seems to be going around in circles. If you feel the deputy has done something wrong here, you are free to report it. If you do not to wish to report it, then you have no right to complain about a rule being supposedly broken if you do not seek going down the right ways of fixing it if it was actually a rule break.

archived

@jason

Welcome! Good luck on Chief position.

Welcome Alex! Hope to see you soon!

Hope to see you soon!

Anything is possible! Get in game and ask around other players how to get that idea started!

Welcome!

Welcome Tommy. Hope you have a good time here! Reach out on the ECRP discord if any questions come up!

Welcome to the server! Hope you have fun and reach out in the ECRP discord if you need any help!

Welcome to the city Neo. Hope to see you around.

Post are always a great read. Keep up the good work friend

welcome to fam bro

Contents: Milton’s First Sentence The new Sheriff in town The LSMC Gangbangers The new roadblock The Bussin’ Busses Mason gets bullied and reports a crime Cletus’ Trading Co. Lugnut's Medical Degree Flargs night out in the city Flarg’s Statistics It was a lovely sunny evening in the city of Los Santos. Milton was riding around in his communicator when he heard a foreign voice on the radio. He would soon discover this person to be Fred Bathsheba. The two Bathshebas ended up meeting on a busy street where they became bored out of their minds. However, Fred came up with a genius plan to rob a store. Milton quickly agreed and they got to work on a plan. Upon arriving at a clothing store, they picked out some outfits to hide their identity. Milton opted for a glowing pink suit accompanied with a pink anime mask and his usual skirt. Fred went with a casual black shirt and jeans along with a black party mask. The two were then set to rob the Chumash Store. Upon arrival, they set up their communicators in the most optimal way to evade from any boofas. Next, Fred disabled the boofa’s technology to make sure no boofas were watching them commit the act.. Finally, they got to robbing the store. Fred held the gun while Milton took the cash. The most perfect plan where nothing could go wrong. Milton decided they had collected enough money and decided to leave the store when the perfect plan went wrong. A boofa was right outside the store, waiting for the two Bathshebas to leave. Unfortunately, Fred was held at gunpoint by the boofa, but Milton quickly got in his communicator and drove off. Milton’s communicator was speeding down the streets of Los Santos as the boofas tried to catch him. It was going well until Milton looked at his fuel. Milton soon ran out of fuel and made a run for it. Unfortunately, he was tased and arrested. The boofas mocked Milton, but he made sure to let them know that they will be eliminated! Milton and Fred were soon reunited at the DOC where they began their lengthy sentences. However, Fred once again came up with a genius plan. He said that they should do psych evaluation. Milton swiftly agreed to Fred’s plan. A guard named Kourtney with a K took them to a room where she asked Fred and Milton many questions. Milton was very focused on doing well on the evaluation, so he answered the best he can. Soon the evaluation was done and Milton went back to serving his time. Milton ended up passing his evaluation! The Bathshebas have always been known for their ecstatic take on crime. As criminals themselves, they find crime therapeutic and relaxing. For this, the Bathshebas have been sitting at the Sandy Station Sheriffs Department in an attempt to scare the Sheriffs Department. Their actual goal is for a potential SD disband so they can take over being the Alpha law enforcement to continue their desires of cooking drugs. The Bathsheba family definitely has the force to become the next big law enforcement figure, the only thing turning them off is the pre-school. Running two large corporate entities would prove to be very hard and time consuming. The children matter more than being elite scums. While the Bathshebas were on their way to steal yet another air compressor from Bayview, the Bathsheba Family ran into the LSMC gangbangers. These specimens were nice enough to welcome the family to their small penthouse gathering where we talked about business and their hot tub. Yes, we admit, the entirety of the Bathsheba Family was on crack during the experience, we still valued the time we had with the gang people. During the interaction, Cletus tried bargaining with head gang members Ava Raven and her mistress Matthew Burns on buying their HQ for the shown above assets. The offer was kindly rejected and said she would like to see some more wood. I guess Matthew’s wood is impressive for the offer of this magnitude to be rejected. The Bathshebas pretended they weren't offended but they still hold a grudge towards the two. Ava and Matthew, our offer of 3 logs and 2 branches still stands. After the trade settlement was rejected we were asking about their gang in which they kept claiming “we are legal” which is something that we don't believe. No one named Ava is ever legal (take Ava Xanny for instance). I to this day believe they are gangbangers protecting their turf disguised as biker people in bandannas. I don't trust them but I like their style. They want to go to church so we will see if they exchange that bandana for a du rag if they get comfortable enough with us. After the families multiple instances with the police, the family has come up with some of their own tactics that they plan to use in future instances. The family has already gone through the testing phase in two cases. Flarg of Death In this case, the enemy was chasing us and was yelling direct threats at the family. Scoobie then yells on the radio for the family to do the “1-2 Rubber Goosey” which is the tactic the family came up with to intimidate their prey. It worked and the man continued to do his job without messing with us. He learned his lesson and our day went about. Flarg Stoppers This certain case was to stop the almighty Boofa from buying a gun to kill us all. This notorious scum Boofa impersonator is known for being trouble. We have kidnapped one of his friends in the past and he now knows the Bathsheba family is a force to reckon with. This man is now scared of every move he makes because he knows our guns are cooler and better. Stay away Vince, we won this war. To the commissioners: We will sue, do not test me. The family has come to terms with Sheriff Bathshebas deadbeat dad, Pierce Hardy, and have come to the decision to start working poor-people jobs in order to pay for the necessities of having the child. Again, Pierce Hardy, your quality of living situations where you are needed never disappoint me. I cannot wait to see you in the city to yell and slander you about your poor commitment issues. Anyways, the family took out around 12 busses and began doing the normal route in Paleto to get some extra money. The family surprisingly did not suffer any hate from the police and was able to raise $73k for the young Sheriff Bathsheba. We are glad to say that he will be fed and clothed for 6 months due to this trip. While on their trip, the family did stop by and say hello to Scoobie's DOC crush, Like Kourtney with a K. She came out and said hi. More importantly, Bartholomew was released from prison as soon as we pulled up so he was able to join us in the Bus route as well. To say the least, the driving was calming to Scoobie's nerves since he had the whole family together. Whilst finishing up his bus route for his new job, Mason started being accosted by several people who started to make fun of his protection armor and communicator hat. Now, everyone knows that the Bathsheba family always dress appropriately and sensibly so these people must have been sent from Boofa to test Mason once again. He tried to give them fashion advice and explain that the reason he wears flippers is in case it rains (pictured below) and the reason he wears his protective armor is in case he gets in a fight. When explaining his communicator hat however, one of the filthy boofa supporters grabbed Mason’s communicator hat and crumpled it up, destroying it Mason was not strong enough to try and fight 5 people even with his protective gear on, so instead he ran off crying to the Los Santos Sheriff's Department where he was met by an extremely useful deputy willing to help. He got all the relevant information of the heinous crime and promised to catch the individual. Mason lingered around Paleto Bay for the rest of the day and kept running into the deputy asking him “did you catch him yet?” pretty much every 5 minutes. The communicator hat was never retrieved, lucky Mason carries 10 around with him in his briefcase at any given time. The notorious communicator hat thief and bullies are still terrorizing innocent citizens on the streets to this day. Our very own entrepreneur, Cletus Bathsheba, has started his very own business where he buys items with logs that he has found in the forest. Cletus started this journey to be more financially dependent. For a log (haha get it) time now, Cletus has been smooching off Scoobie's preschool funds, Scoobie suggested Cletus to get a real job instead of collecting welfare and other peoples money. Cletus watched a few Youtube videos about starting your own company, in which he did. Cletus has yet to make any deals but he is definitely looking for offers and business deals. Cletus is trading his logs for voided charges, houses, AK-47s, and enchantment powder. Cletus tried getting Scoobie's charges marked off. The family has finally gotten the ability to claim that on of their very own is now a doctor. Lugnut Bathsheba was accepted into the School of BLS where he will be able to help us if we get injured! To say the least, we are so very proud of our not so little nut. Lugnut, make us proud and get that degree! Criminals can be doctors too! The family found themselves at LSC (in which they have been banned for life for multiple theft attempts and disrupting the peace) - all of a sudden, Scoobie gets a text on his phone stating that Club Corruption was hosting an XXX Night. The family naturally made their way to the club where they waited in the god awful line. Scoobie thought of this occasion as a family bonding moment which prompted him to take money out of the Preschool fund to pay for everyone's admission. The total for all 12 Bathshebas and their pet coyote was $39,000, a small price to pay for bonding. As soon as Scoobie entered the sex prism, he was unaware of his surroundings and decided to take a quick video for their online scrapbook of the dancers at the entrance. Scoobie was told nearly immediately the next time he tries to video, he will be kicked out. Scoobie stopped due to him wanting to bond with his family. The night was crazy and new for the family. They have never been in such a serious environment before. The exotic dancing, the alcohol, the “tee taws” (code word for boobs), and the music were all factors that made the family feel… free. Every male member (besides for Bartholomew… maybe he’s gay?) was up and down the room checking out all the females showing off their trunk and tee taws. There was dancer in particular that gained the attention of everyone, her name to the Bathshebas was Kitty Kat Meow Meow. After multiple attempts in getting a private dance, the family scored one with Kitty Kat for only $10,000. What happens next makes Scoobie a proud Wizard Prophet. Kitty Kat takes the family into a small room for a private session where she then dances her usual routine. It wasn't until Shag’s pet coyote got on the small dancing stage when Kitty Kat got off and started doing 1 on 1 dances. She picked Milton first for a private dance (Scoobie calls Milton his retarded crack baby) in which she had him hold her waist. This to Scoobie and Shag was a shock, who knew Milton would ever get the attention from a woman? The dance eventually finished and it was our time to go. The night got dark and the family returned to their normal trailer to do some blow and go to bed. Flarg has blessed all so very much. As a non-believer, I'm sure it is hard to ponder the greatness of what the Bathshebas do; therefore, this part of the newsletter is to showcase the greatness of all members and what we have accomplished. Community Service Records [23/02/2021 - 30/03/2021] Failure to Comply - Shag Bathsheba GTA of a Government Employee - Shag Bathsheba Attempted Murder - Milton Bathsheba Possession of an Illegal Firearm - Milton Bathsheba GTA - Scoobie Bathsheba Possession of Controlled Substance - Mason Bathsheba Misuse of a Government Hotline - Scoobie and Nicholas Bathsheba Criminal Threats Against a Government Employee x6 - Scoobie Bathsheba Felony Evading - Shag Bathsheba Possession of Illegal Firearms - Bartholomew Bathsheba Felony Evading - Bartholomew Bathsheba Assault Against a Government Employee - Samoa Bathsheba Possession of Illegal Firearms - Lugnut Bathsheba Armed Robbery - Fred and Milton Bathsheba The community service we did this month is way below average and personally was a sad portrayal of their deeds to Scoobie and Shag. Below is the last months community service records for comparison. We will try to do better. Last Months Community Service Records [15/01/2021-23/02/2021] Attempted Murder of a Government Employee x2 - Scoobie Bathsheba Armed Robbery - Scoobie Bathsheba Unlicensed Firearm - Scoobie Bathsheba GTA of a Government Employee - Mason Bathsheba GTA of a Government Employee - Cloonz Bathsheba Attempted Prison Break - Scoobie Bathsheba Armed Robbery - Cleevus Bathsheba Reckless Operation x8 - Scoobie Bathsheba Aggrivated Murder of a Government Employee - Shag Bathsheba Kidnapping of a Government Employee - Scoobie Bathsheba Felony Evading - Scoobie Bathsheba Illegal Firearm - Rose Bathsheba Felony Evading - Mason Bathsheba Resisting Arrest - Mason Bathsheba Failure to Comply - Mason Bathsheba Assault with a deadly weapon - Mason Bathsheba Brandishing a Firearm or Weapon of a Government Employee - Mason Bathsheba Felony Evading - Ronnie Bathsheba Trespassing - Scoobie / Lugnut / Mason Bathsheba Unlicensed Firearm - Shag Bathsheba Attempted Murder of a Government Employee - Myla Bathsheba Attempted Murder of a Government Employee - Mustafa Bathsheba Felony Evading - Lugnut Bathsheba Aggrivated Attempted Murder of a Governement Employee - Lugnut Bathsheba Failure to Identify - Caulkable Bathsheba GTA of a government Employee - Ronnie Bathsheba Operating a Motor Vehicle without a valid license - Cleevus Bathsheba Failure to Comply - Scoobie Bathsheba Assault with a deadly weapon of a Government Employee - Lugnut Bathsheba Attempted Murder of a Government Employee x2 - Scoobie Bathsheba Flargs Vehicle Statistics KM travelled in a communicator: 657 KM New communicators constructed: +1 Blown tires: 3 (from a pursuit) Amount of collisions: 23 Total in repair costs: $14,564 Miscellaneous Statistics Shots fired: 14 Blunts smoked: 54 Enchantment powder inhalation sessions: 6 Church sessions: 2 New member attendance to church services: 29 Preschools established: ½ (in a temporary building at the moment) Mason Bathsheba This months Bathsheba of the Month will go to Mason Bathsheba. Mason has been a constant force in the family being sure that everyone's needs are met. He is not afraid of change and is always around to help the family when they are in a bind. Mason for his hard word will receive 5 grams of enchantment powder and a free radio. Flarg. Flarg. Flarg. Flarg. Flarg. Flarg. Flarg. Flarg. Flarg. Flarg. Flarg. Flarg. Flarg. Flarg. Flarg. Flarg. Flarg. Flarg. Flarg. Flarg. Flarg. Flarg. Flarg. Flarg. Flarg. Flarg. Flarg. Flarg. Flarg. Flarg. Flarg. Flarg. Flarg. Fuck Boofa. [In collaboration with Mason and Milton Bathsheba]

Keep eyes peeled for the next bathsheba newsletter! Big one this month!

Dear SDz Department, I am here to exclaim my extreme disappointment with your lead Sheriff cadet, Pierce Hardy. Since your Sheriff impregnated our sweet little Rose Bathsheba, Pierce has yet to send me a child support check. I thought the SDz department stood for integrity. I demand immediately that your Sheriff bring me my money and apologize to Rose for planting your seed and not watering it properly. Rose has undergone severe anxiety and depression knowing her child will not be tended to by the baby-daddy (Pierce Hardy) and we demand that to change. If a payment fails to appear mr. @Beet, we will take our best law man and take you to court. We will win and you know that. This is no longer a hardship for little Sheriff Bathsheba, it is now war. Yours truly, Wizard Prophet Scoobie Bathsheba

def a simp

Bruh no need to flex : (