Why I could NOT GENUINELY enjoy ECRP.

[KaeyenKingston]

Hi. If I get in trouble for speaking my experiences, I know that ECRP is NOT a place for me. We will see how this goes.

My character in ECRP is a transgender female to male. He identifies as a male. Before the change to become who he TRULY is, he was a pregnant female. He had told people, because he was happy. The reason he decided to FINALLY own up to who he is, is because he had a miscarriage. His backstory? He grew up with parents that were drunks and drug addicts. They also were very VERY AGAINST the LGBTQ+ Community. OOCly I identify as a transmale. I am a MAN. I had to play that female role in ECRP because after about 3 days of playing my first ever character, which is a male, I could not stand the IC bullying. I was asked if I was truly a man and made fun of for my voice. So I created that female character to avoid it. I have NEVER felt comfortable playing her. EVER. I met my current OOC bf on ECRP. He and I have rped with my female character as his wife until 2 days ago when I finally decided to be ME. I went ahead and did a character transfer request. I did everything I could IC and OOC to be me and not confuse anyone. I was asked many times IC if I was still pregnant. Each time, I told them it was a miscarriage. Even after all this. I got PMed on DISCORD. I was told that ICly I am not allowed to be pregnant as it does not make sense after going through a sex change. I KNOW THIS. I HAVE DONE MY RESEARCH. There was not a SINGLE reason ANYONE should be saying I have "claimed to be pregnant still". The best part? The person PMing me doesn't know me. at all. not ic and not ooc. I have been so much more happy and comfortable as my current transmale character. only to have that all taken away, because people cannot accept that I am me. Legit the reason I was on such a long hiatus? The drama. EVERY SINGLE DAY there was at least one thing I had to deal with. EVEN if I was NOT INVOLVED in the first place! When I returned? I thought things had gotten better. things FELT better. But I guess that is not the case. Now that I have come out and chosen to be who I am, I am getting shot down where I thought was my safe place. OOCly I have been bullied and get shit from people who say they support me. I get that every single day. Now. Put yourself in this situation. If you had to go through getting bullied and basically spat on every day for just being yourself, then go to your favorite video game or activity to get away from it all, only to get the same treatment there, would you ever GENUINELY be happy or enjoy it? No. You would not. This server has its pros. but the cons are way too heavy.

Edited December 22, 2021 by KaeyenKingston
I have decided to try again...-

[Chunder]

If people are harassing you OOCly due to the character you play and your IC/OOC choices then you can report them. Also be aware that you have every right to block people on discord if they're PMing you with just harassing messages.

[KaeyenKingston]

That won't help the fact that if I do that, there will be at least one person to tell someone else. then soon enough EVERYONE gets the information. That is how more rumors spread and how people are destroyed.

[XeV]

any online game will have it fair share of just scum of the earth. Its inevitable, but I have been able to weed out that scum (obviously by going in face first and taking my fair share of hate) and to surround myself with fantastic people I call friends. Life is all about not stopping when its hard, but fighting through to the end because what is at the end is always worth it. This server from my perspective has ALOT of people who like to pick one thing and harass you for it. Female character but male voice you will be harassed by randoms, but that's the thing they are random no names on the internet who get satisfaction over bringing people down over an anonymous screen. I too have been bullied ALL my life as a gay black male, but the bullying has made me stronger as a person and my pride is massive. Trust me when I say this server is FANTASTIC just because of the people in it. I can have fun doing ANYTHING as long as im with my friends

 

Edit- Basically I STRONGLY encourage fighting through to find you your own group of people who just enjoy having you around and are excited when you login. They are out there waiting for you

 

Edited December 22, 2021 by undead_vex

[KimeyBear101]

Play the character you wish to play. You are playing for your fun and what you feel comfortable with. If there is any ooc behaviour that could be negative, you can report this. 

[Bala]

When it comes to gaming in general, I think people are becoming more understanding when it comes to transgender people but only really from a male to female transition. It certain seems much more common or at least people are more open about that so by proxy, people who are not familiar become more comfortable. 

That being said though, it's already an ask for people to change their view points on male to female transition or males playing as female characters but female to male isn't really that common from what i've seen so, it's perhaps more difficult for people to adjust their view points. When you throw in roleplaying a pregnancy as a man, that is a hard ask I'm afraid for people to get their head around. I've been trying to be certainly more open minded to alternative life-styles but I don't know how to feel about it and I don't know how i'd feel about encountering that situation in-game. I don't know if I'd be comfortable in truth. On the one hand, more power to you for fleshing out a character but at the same time, it's out there as far as roleplay goes and I think resistance is probably more understandable because it's certainly less common, i don't think we're quite there yet in 2021.

This is a VOIP server and a server where people don't necessarily play characters but themselves, quite a bit. VOIP can do a lot for RP but it can also take stuff away. Sometimes it's hard to put character and voice together. Think of a teenager with a squeaky voice swearing at you and trying to rob you. Can you say you'd honestly be able to take them seriously?

I think you've got a number of options from a pragmatic point of view.

• One, you continue to roleplay the character you want provided it doesn't break any server rules. 
  If you do this, you have to understand that people are going to push back against your character and it will go OOC.
  If you feel that their behaviour violates rules, you should report it but rule-break or not, people are still saying things to you.
  You have to decide for yourself if you're strong enough to deal with that and supported enough to deal with it.
   
• Two, you remain here but only use text to role-play.
  You probably don't get as much harassment but you also sacrifice using VOIP for that.
   
• Three, You go somewhere else where you can express your character freely, without any harassment at all.
  This one isn't ideal but the reality is, ECRP isn't going to change over-night and VOIP is going to always be there. 
  As much as I'd love to tell you otherwise, maybe a text based server would allow you more freedom of expression than a VOIP server.

I know it's a delicate subject but I don't think there is any point in pretending or sugar coating things. There doesn't seem to be any real option that doesn't have a downside but to be fair, I respect the fact you're open about yourself. Wish you good luck with your decision.

[Actualbears]

I AM NOT SLANDERING OR ATTEMPTING TO HARASS ANYONE WITH THIS POST OR THE SLURS IT CONTAINS. IT IS MERELY SHOWING THE REALITY OF THINGS.

 

Try as you might mate just because there is a rule limiting the slurs and IC  near mixing harassment doesn't mean the playerbase is going to adapt and follow by the rules. Despite being in effect for the past few months, there's always goin to be players both new and veterans who've been here for 3+ years willing to shout all kinds of things IC'ly when situations get tense like when someone gets downed in a shootout and proceeds to call the person who is searching or arresting them a retarded faggot despite having 10+ .50 rounds lodged in their chest.

Then there's the fact a whole lot of players here come from european/slavic/balkan/middle eastern states where that kind of culture around transgenderism and homosexuality is considered damn near diabolical. So whenever a player, both new or veteran hears your female player model speak with a male tone voice. There is going to always be the opportunity for them to pull some jokes or straight up calling you a tranny freak of nature and informing you to kill yourself IC. You have the ability to report them for it if that time comes, but all you have to do is wait for the next encounter and someone is bound to say fuck the rules and call you a tranny freak IC'ly.  It's literally human nature for some people to act like that. 

As Bala said. VOIP is the primary ways of talking in this game. Lot of the gov factions require it, you might get some peace from only going through text but it'll only get you so far in situations. 

Following up on what Bala said last. There are more similar servers out there that follow upon INCREDIBLY strict of rules that basically make any harassments be it racial/homophobic/transphobic an insta permaban for the offender. ECRP is not one of those places and with the players that join on the daily or has been here since the english server ordered will not easily bend to such insults. The rule still requires some clarification and actual in effect justice for it to be considered common knowledge by most players and to show them that it's not okay. 

There's always going to be people in this community and every other who will know how to push your buttons. Be it you're an LEO, civilian or even a gangster. People know that the whole OOC mental manipulation can benefit people into breaking rules or IC protocols by calling the opposing player by pressing their buttons and calling them an insult that nears the actual player identification or constantly irrupting by just saying shut up fag over and over again.

The server is a rough loving mistress. Sometimes it takes away your drive to play through other characters mixing harassment IC'ly and OOC'ly, sometimes it gives fun and opportunity if you find the right group. Though most of the time you're just going to have a sixteen year old calling you every racial slur under the sun while they have you a gunpoint.  For example. When I first joined PD 2+ years ago, I came in as a female officer and attempted to put a legit female voice. It wasn't before too long that every time I made an arrest and spoke using my microphone, I would right away get called a tranny IC'ly and get mocked in front of my superiors. I tried to get a thicker skin to handle it but eventually one just needs to accept the truth that when there's people, there is going to be that mindset of thinking and calling out differences.  After a while I just shrugged my arms and had a male officer transfer in.  

I will say it once more. 

Where there is people, there is going to be that one person that is going to use their inflated ego or rage to call you whatever racial or gender based insult (Probably both together) to see you get flustered and quit the game or rile an IC reaction so you do something stupid for their benefit. 

You can try to adapt, grow a thick skin or just stop playing on that community and go find something that has a much more stronger grasp on punishing all uses of slurs. Right now this server does not have the restrictions to provide a proper safe zone away from the actions you mentioned in your post and chances are you'll only be causing yourself more mental distress the more you linger about. You can report who you can for IC mixing on the slurs and OOC harassments to staff on the proper channels but the source is not plugged and there will be incidents. 

Edited December 22, 2021 by Actualbears

[jason]

As this discussion has long since been concluded, it will now be locked & archived.

Thank you to all of those who participated and provided feedback within this discussion.