Ravyn Black

[HeyRavyn]

My lungs burn as I exhale the thick cloud of smoke adding to the already hot boxed room. I slowly begin to relax, sinking into the couch inch by inch as I try to shed the negativity of the day. I Don’t Get Tired is playing and the beat begins to take over my body, the hollow temple slowly bobbing along to the song.  I’m weightless, a palpable temple trying to regulate the stress with this beautiful dank weed and the deep bass coming from my brother's sound system in his dirty garage. If I could give you a description on how deeply I feel, the speakers that are causing the windows on his new Slogan to tremble would be where I’d begin. 

Something that is more felt than heard, starting slow, a melody lulling you into a calming trance, warm and welcoming. The tempo speeds up, getting your racing, it's like dancing the tango, a beautiful love affair, an intense give and take. As it gets deeper, stronger, the bass hits you as if you had no air in your lungs. The vibration runs deep forcing you to slowly sway to the beat and onto a slow grind, a limited vision only able to focus on the moment right in front of you. The rhythm your veins and the palpitations from the bass is the single thing keeping you alive in this very moment. It's an intense feeling, learning to love completely and dedication given, doing all you can to help those you care for; family.

“Ravyn!” he nudged me, yelling “Yo, you be spacin’ out weird lately. You aight sis?” Hector questioned.

I quickly snapped out of it, “Yeah, I’m fine. Here,” I handed him the cashed out bowl unsure as to how long he had been trying to get my attention.  “ I didn't mean to smoke it all.”

He’s come a long way from where we came from, at least he can dress himself better than a toddler these days I thought to myself.  I instantly changed my mind after I looked down at his shoes. Obviously he didn’t read that portion of the grown up memo. He was rockin white sneakers with spikes poking out all over them. This boy is out here looking like a KPop fanboy thinking it's okay I thought as I rolled my eyes. 

“It’s aight Fam, I got more, I’ll be back gimmie a few” he reassured me before disappearing through the door slamming it behind him.

The crack sent me back to when Hector and I were only ten, standing in our living room. The smell of rancid garbage in the can which should have been taken out days before was stagnant throughout the entire motel room. You could hear the sirens out in the lot and the screams from the inconsolable women below. The abundant residue on the stained carpet beneath our feet left a gross feel on my skin, a cockroach scurrying across the floor only inches from my feet. 

“Let’s go Hector, I think Miss Johnson is home. She will have a snack for us.” I reached for his arm to help him to his feet, we were so malnourished and thin. I felt responsible for him since out parents were incompetent and unwilling to care for anyone nonetheless themselves. As I carefully touched his skin so as to not bruise him I handed him a shirt, the cleanest one was mine with several holes and a knock off Mickey Mouse on the front. As I helped him tie his shoes I noticed the holes in the toes have gotten bigger. 

“Hold on Hector, let me grab the last of the duct tape so they don’t rip further.” I quickly made my way through the kitchen sliding used needles and spoons to the side as I pried the drawer open with the broken screwdriver. I jumped as I pulled the drawer open from the mouse that popped out at me, dropping the screwdriver onto the floor.  I sighed as I reached to grab the roll of duct tape, finding it empty. I instinctively took my shoes off and made my way back to my brother, “Here, wear these, I’ll be fine” I whispered to him. He quickly removed his shoes, replacing them with mine before we quietly snuck out of the motel room. I turned to close the door behind us after looking in at our mother comatose from the heroine passed out on the couch. 

“Stay here one second Hector,” I motioned him as I ran back in. I carefully pulled the lit cigarette our mother had in her hand and put it out in the ashtray overflowing with cigarette butts. “Okay, let's hurry before Miss Johnson Leaves for work.” I closed the door behind us before we made our way in and out of the commotion outside and across the lot and through the broken portion of the fence behind the complex.  

As we made our way across the street the air seemed thinner, fresher and you could see the stress lift on Hector's face as he looked up to the sky, eyes closed and smiling as he let the sun warm his skin.

“Come on Hector, we have to hurry!” I rushed him

“Ravyn, just wait a minute, I don’t get to be outside a lot, it’s so warm here and quiet.” I couldn’t argue with him, he seemed so peaceful. The breeze was nice and relaxing as I took a deep breath in. “We have to go,” I reminded him as I pulled him along. The front gate to Miss Johnson's house was clean and surrounded by flowers and partially trimmed hedges, she took pride in her yard that was surrounded by the decay and trash of the hood. 

I closed the gate behind us and retrieved the spare key she left hidden for us before darting off in the bushes along the side of the house to the back door. As we made our way inside the house I could smell the cornbread, my mouth began to instantly water. 

“You poor babies,” Miss Johnson sighed as she looked down at us. “You got the shit end of life I tell you. Your momma should be ashamed havin’ ya’ll out here lookin like this. She laid her hand on her chest as she hung her head looking at us, dirty, under dressed and underfed. “Ravyn baby girl I have a shower set up for you to go shower and I then Hector can get clean. Go on hurry child.” She rushed us to the bathroom to wash up. “I have a few hand me downs from my boys in there for you both to wear. Go on, make it quick.” 

We made our way to the bathroom and I pulled out a wash rag and soap, handing it to Hector, before turning on the water and adjusting the water temperature. “Make it quick,” I whispered as I left to stand outside the door. I waited about ten minutes before I heard the water turn off and the door open behind me. He cleaned up after himself and had clean clothing on, the dark sunken circles under his eyes were prominent, getting sleep was hard when you had to constantly have to be on the lookout in your own home. 

“Go to the kitchen by Miss Jonson and eat. I'll be in shortly,” I directed him before closing the door and getting in the shower myself. 

As I stood under the hot water I hung my head and cried. I could see the dirt pooling at my feet as it escaped down the drain, the trace of my disgusting life being washed away temporarily. Reaching for the soap and washcloth I looked down at the handprint bruise on my right forearm I was graced with four days ago. It was still a deep blue and throbbing throughout the day, a gift from our mothers newest fling dealer.  

Hector woke me from the short sleep I had gotten, he was hungry and the smell of pizza made its way down the hall and into the room we shared. “Ravyn I’m so hungry, I only had that packet of crackers today,” he cried as he tugged on my shirt. “Ravyn...Ravyn wake up,” he pleaded. I shushed him as I sat up “Shhh, don’t cry, stay quiet. I’ll try to sneak a piece for you, stay here.”
I rubbed my eyes and my view slowly cleared as my eyes adjusted to the dark. I could smell the pizza along with the weed as I slowly crept down the hall.  I could hear voices in the kitchen, glasses clinking, music playing and our mothers annoying cackle as she threw herself at anyone willing to feed her addiction. As I peeked around the corner I could see her tripping and stumbling across the kitchen, no shirt on and in her underwear, makeup running down her cheeks, dead eyes darting across the room looking for something.  

I looked into the living room to the pizza boxes stacked on the couch and back at the people in the kitchen.  I quickly moved in the room and opened the first box and stacked a few pieces together and turned to run to our room. Before I could turn around I felt an unbearable pain on my arm which made me scream out loud. 

“Lil theivin' ass bitch, the fuck you think you’re doin stealin' this? This ain't for you!” He yanked me away causing the pizza to fly down the hall and land on the ground near the bedroom. “Ima teach you a mothafucken lesson” he grunted as I hit the wall falling to the floor. I could see Hector, tears running down his face, quickly picked up the pizza and looked to me as if he wanted to help. I shook my head no and motioned him to go back before I lost consciousness. 

As I came to and the blurriness cleared up I saw my mother look at me laid up next to the man that just beat the shit out of me, smiling and laughing as she looked down at me. “Don't touch shit that ain't yours Ravyn, you know better.”

“We haven't ate in days, we are starving mom,” I muttered. “We need food.”

“Not my problem, go out there and make money, you need to contribute like I do. Ain’t no fucken free ride in this bitch.” Imagine the person who was supposed to be there to look after you telling you it’s not their job, allowing a grown ass man to put hands on you. 

“I should turn her ass out, you’re pretty, I bet she would make a lot,” the man seated next to my mom hissed as he kissed my mother. “I can test it out can’t I?” he asked my mother. She didn’t even hesitate before she moved aside and nodded. 

I wasted no time jumping up and running as fast as I could to the room slamming it closed behind me and locking it. Hector sat there holding a half slice of pizza he saved for me in hand holding it out. “Drop it, we have to go right now,” I said hastily as I slapped it from his hand and pulled him up from the blankets laid on the floor for us to sleep on. I quickly slid the window open and lifted him to climb out. I could hear the man outside the door yelling and trying to bust through it. I pulled myself up through the opening just as he broke through rushing to the window calling me names. I could hear my mother behind him threatening that if we didn't come back we never could. 

I stopped to look back at her, Hector's hand in mine, tears in both our eyes as he whispered softly “We are better off without her anyway Ravyn, we have each other.” I turned to look at him as he tugged my hand and smiled at me. “All we need is each other,” he sighed as he hugged me. “That's right little brother, we’re all we need.”

We made our way to Miss Johnson’s house only to have added disappointment. As we neared her house the red and blue flashing lights destroyed the remaining hope we had left. The coroner was wheeling a body bag out to the vehicle, everyone's face sad and their eyes filled with tears. Miss Johnson helped so many people out who were in need and with her now gone I didn’t know what to do. We continued walking as the sun set and night set in with nowhere to go and I needed to find a safe place for us to sleep. The highway walk over was always locked at night I remembered and we were small enough to squeeze over the gap above and have some semblance of safety to sleep.

We huddled up hugging each other as the chill set in, alone and unaware of where to go first. What can a set of ten year old twins really do to survive? Well we weren’t your everyday twins, we were stronger together and determined to get more than the shit we were handed. The following years would hold a lot of learning experiences for us both, carrying us in slightly different directions which helped us together. Lying about our ages, stealing as needed to eat and using the adorable faces to our advantage at public events.  My brother and I needed to make it, or we would die and neither of us were ready to give in yet so sink or swim held a completely different meaning to us. 
 

[skeletee]

LETS FUCKING GOOOO!

[Chester213]

Love it!

[Harley]

Finally Ravyn has a character stories page!

[HeyRavyn]

6 minutes ago, Harley said:

Finally Ravyn has a character stories page!

Ugh, I was gonna do it a long time ago but did the photography thing instead, didn't think it would matter lol

[Stew Walker]

Hits hard

 

[HeyRavyn]

[HeyRavyn]

 

He had always told me, I was the one he said he couldn’t live without. The one he thought that would never leave, he’d rather I died than have to live without me. Unfortunately for me, he meant every word of that and planned to leave me to die. It was precisely what he was in the process of doing. I helped my brother  disappear after we took everything Delante had to his name. We emptied his bank accounts, took over his overseas bank accounts, the weapons he had stashed as well as the drugs he had in the warehouse. Just to add the cherry on top I let all the trafficked women loose with over a million dollars to get away. Hector and Tyrese chopped all of his expensive cars, sold all the gems and anything that could be moved quickly. 

When the two of them slipped through Delante’s fingers I became the victim of his morbid twisted anger and violence. The pure rage in his dark eyes focused on me as if nothing else around him existed. His eyes looked black, crazed and bloodshot, glazed over from whatever drugs he had taken today. I had been trapped in this room being interrogated for what felt like hours. He called me into the back after closing before I could get to my dressing room, I was left exposed, half naked and had no way to defend myself. He smiled at me as he closed the door behind me. 

“Hey baby,” he said softly but as he locked the door that veil fell and Satan himself stood there looking at me like prey. “We need to have a talk,” he said quietly as he stepped closer to me. 

“Abou--?” I asked, knowing damn well what he was about to say. I know because I overheard one of his guys mention something that alerted me and I quickly called Hector earlier to leave in case he knew for sure and I would meet him later because I needed to be sure. I should’ve known something was up when the dance order was changed and I was on stage last. I was NEVER last, he always wanted me to be ready to leave when he was when he was free, before closing. 

I wasn't able to finish my word before I felt the first blow to my stomach. I hunched over, gritting my teeth, looking back at him pissed. “So I see you have something you wanna get off your chest huh?” I said sarcastically, my mistake. 

“You think this is funny bitch? Where your brother at Ravyn? Where’d he go to hide?” he got more demanding and angry every time he had to repeat himself. He backhanded me hard enough for me to fall onto the couch with a busted lip. I could taste the blood as I licked my lips and wiped the blood away carefully. 

“You won’t find him, I made sure of it.” I hissed through my teeth.

“Wrong answer,'' he grunted as he began punching me over and over again in the head before pulling me to my feet after he needed to catch his breath.  

I could feel my face swelling, I grew dizzier with each blow. I tried to protect my face, but each time he pulled my arm away and struck the same spot every time. I couldn't hear much from my left ear by the time he pulled me to my feet. The ringing was so loud all I was able to hear was my heart beating. 

He threw me down onto my knees below him, his fist knotted in my hair as he assaulted me over and over. I could feel the warm blood streaming down my face, blurring my vision on top of the swelling from the fractured eye socket he adorned me with. 

The fact I refused to scream and plead for him to stop fueled his rage further and the beating continued. He wrapped his rough hands around my throat as he pulled my nearly limp body from the ground. I instantly began to feel my lungs fighting for air with every inch he lifted me from the ground. He looked up at me as I fought to loosen his grip, panic was about to set in as I clawed with bloody fingers at his hands, kicking and beginning to lose consciousness. He knew he had me right where he wanted me and adorned a sadistic grin on his face. 

“There’s my girl, fight for me, beg me to not kill you” he laughed in my face before he spit in it and threw me into the glass table in his office. “I know you got that fight in you, don’t bitch up now.” His laugh echoed through the room. 

Glass flew everywhere as the table shattered and I could feel the cuts all over my bare skin as I rolled to my side, gasping for air trying to stand on my feet. I stumbled with one shoe on as I fell over again. The shards of glass digging into the palms of my hands and knees stung like hell as I tried again to gain my balance. 

“You’re a bitch,” I muttered under my breath. If I was going down, I wasn't going down quietly, I have fought my entire life, I wasn’t going to let him be my downfall, not like this. 

“Nah bitch, you ain’t going nowhere!” He snatched me by my hair again, pulling me back to him and throwing me to the side again before he began to kick me in the ribs over and over. By the time he got his eighth kick in with his bloody Timberlands I heard my ribs crack and I screamed out in searing pain. 

“FUCK” I cried out in agony. I was nearly blacking out as I fought for air holding my torso. 

“Where did he go, Ravyn? Where the fuck did you send your brother?” he yelled over and over as I lay there fighting for air; I didn’t answer. I looked up at him, my face looking like a circus freak, swollen, broken and bloody. My body covered in cuts and bruises, I imagined I was unrecognizable at this point. My lingerie torn, I was left exposed fighting to get away 

As he stepped near me again I mustered up all the strength I had left to crawl towards the door, sliding over broken glass again, leaving cuts all over my skin. I got about four feet before he grabbed my ankle to yank me back to him. I began to kick at him with my free leg, fighting back with all I had left. I managed to kick him in the face, cutting deep into his face with my heel stunning him just long enough to grab a long piece of glass. I gripped the piece so tight it was cutting into my hand as I stumbled on my feet and screamed like a psychotic patient hunched over. 

As Delante spun back around he pulled his gun out pointing it right in my face before he whipped me with the butt of the gun, that I felt with every nerve left in my body.  I quickly flung my arms towards him and jabbed the glass into the side of his neck as deep as I could, blood instantly ran down in a thick pool as he began to spit up blood and gargle as he began to choke. His tall muscular body went limp as he fell to his knees, hands at his side; I did it...I was free. I turned to the door, limping holding my side as he sat there gasping for air. I turned back to look at him as I held myself up on the door frame, “fuck you, you dirty bitch. You will NEVER find my brother, I made sure of that…” As I turned away my body collapsed to the floor. I could feel the burn, the traveling pain spread like wildfire through my body.  

He managed to fire off a single bullet which hit me under my right arm, punctured my lung and didn't come out the other side.  I gasped deeply as my lung instantly began to fill with blood, I felt as if I was drowning on land. As I laid on the ground dying, I saw him fall over and watched the life leave his eyes as he laid there staring at me. His blank expression left me at ease knowing he would never get his hands on Hector, my they were safe and out of his reach, I succeeded. 

I could feel my heart pumping faster and faster and then suddenly it slowed and a calm began to set in. I wasn’t fighting as hard by this time, a euphoric aura set over me as if I was being told it's okay to stop fighting. That everything was going to be okay and I could give in, I did what I was created for, I could let go. Things began to grow dark, there was no light in the end, I wasn’t headed to the pearly gates it seemed, and I was okay with that, I did what I had to to survive in life and I wasn't ashamed of that. I wasn’t afraid of dying, that's not what I fought for. I fought for those I loved and needed to protect in life. Most people were born alone, and they were going to die alone, and I was blessed to be born with another, another to walk the world with me, fight with me, grow and thrive. 

As my vision grew darker, I could feel my life slipping away, barely breathing, I could no longer hear my heartbeat and the dizziness was taking over. In that moment a bright light did appear, although it wasn’t the one you would imagine it to be. My phone laid two feet from me, the screen lit up brighter than I ever remembered it and Hector's name was on the screen. My reason to fight was right there, I could do this, I just had to get up. “Get up Ravyn, don’t give in” I repeated over and over in my head. All I could manage to move was one finger, twitched just slightly, my body felt like a giant cement brick, I couldn’t move. I was dying. I wasn’t leaving this place, no one was coming to help me, no one knew we were here. It was hopeless. I said my peace as I took my last few breaths before I passed out. “I hope he knows how much I fought for him,” I thought right before everything went dark. 

 

 

“Going Down Fighting” - Phlotilla ft. Andrea Wasse & Topher Mohr