The Bathsheba Family

[Kazjii]

A community cornerstone, longevity in their fight for spreading religious motive. A wise man once said, "If you fall six times, get up seven" - a common factor in the life of a Bathsheba. Under constant scrutiny, mere judgement of the surface and not of their hearts. This family is special and this family means well.

 

Scoobie and Shag, daunted and confused by the negotiations of life fall into a well of addiction when they began to abuse various substances while they both lived in North Dakota. Scoobie was in the midst of being onboarded to NASA's astronaut training program where he would fulfill his life-long dreams to set foot in the ISS and possibly the moon while Shag was 12 credit hours away from an Aerospace Engineering Degree. With an addiction strung on dependency and shut-out mentalities, they would both lose the positions they had lined up.

Worried and lost, they would experiment with psychedelics as an attempt to find a deeper meaning in life. One night, Scoobie and Shag sat on a hill in Jebazoonah, North Dakota consuming 5 times the amount of acid that is recommended. As they sat upon that hill, a voice and figure would appear in the night sky. A conversation began between the 2 on the hill and the man in the sky. The man would introduce himself as Flarg, the conquerer of Hailbob67. Flarg would continue to explain to Scoobie and Shag that Hailbob was the afterlife for all believers of Flarg.

Scoobie and Shag inquire as to what believers of Flarg stand for and what they believe in. Flarg would go off on the list and mention that they are missionaries on the Earth Planetary Solar Form (EPSF) and reel in new believers so that one day, the religion of Flarg would be the dominant religion. Once every person on Earth is a believer and prays at the same time. Flarg will consume Earth and merge it to the heavenly cosmos of Hailbob67.

 

After consideration, Scoobie and Shag would agree to this mission, agreeing to its terms and conditions. The day after this religious encounter, Scoobie and Shag began to brainstorm how they could most optimally attack this mission. They landed on a busting city on the West Coast, Los Santos. A place with no dominant religion and labeled as America's "Trashiest Mixing Pot" - catching the name with the immense diversity of crime, legal battles, high poverty rate, and increasing gang violence. This is where Scoobie and Shag think that the initiative will grow best.

 

 

 

 

A) Convert all citizens of Los Santos to believers of Flarg

 

B) Become a state-recognized organization

 

C) Support Mason Bathsheba in his employment at the University of Los Santos and

works towards him becoming a professor 

C.1) Support Scoobie in completing his Felony Reformation Program to then

be hired at the University as a librarian

C.2) Support Coin to get his Associates degree to make him

better at English and History

C.3) Support Ronnie in getting a contract at the University

to have a preschool on the college campus

 

D) Reach and maintain $5,000,000 in church treasury for business operations

and to fund community projects for others via charity donations

 

E) Purchase and operate a 3rd preschool campus for Ronnie

E.1) Purchase and operate a small pharmacy for Scoobie to work with MD

and fill prescriptions

E.2) Purchase and operate a dance club and/or studio to host small-to-medium

events

E.4) Purchase and operate a small mental health and rehabilitation center for

recovering addicts and people seeking therapy

 

F) Remain neutral with every and all groups to ensure community projects are maintained

under respect and appreciation.

F.1) Continue to build relations with new groups around the city and invite them to 

future events.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

                        Must have 50k xp in total across all characters

 

 

                                                   Absolutely zero tolerance for OOC toxicity            

 

                                   

                    We are looking for unique quality characters

 

Our RP is unique community-centered lore-building. With this, we put a lot of emphasis on flexible RP to 

best suit players with an equal opportunity to RP with us. We have a firm stance on creating valid

and appropriate relationships while not creating conflict off "troll" instigations.

 

Since we are a faction that is very dependent on explaining and building our lore,

we expect all characters that join the faction to have an extensive background story

made and ready to be shared. Along with this, characters must be unique and catered to 

fitting the Bathsheba lore of being abnormal.

 

All members are held to a very high standard of following server rules. While our RP is made

and intended to be chaotic and fun, members are expected to fulfill those faction

goals by remaining within the lines of server rules.

 

All players from all walks of RP are welcomed to: RP with us on their main, join our faction discord to 

be updated on thread and media posts, and make a character to join the faction.

 

[Kazjii]

Reserved

 

 

Edited December 13, 2020 by Kazjii

[Kazjii]

Reserved

Edited December 13, 2020 by Kazjii

[Kazjii]

Reserved

Edited December 13, 2020 by Kazjii

[Serio]

You had me at crack communion!

[Puzzling]

Hmm. I don't know what to think about this... Even after the first time I interacted with y'all

 

[Demonyk]

mmm yes, cult RP. Love it and good luck

[Famingo]

gl looks good

[Illmohim]

Good Luck this looks very good!

 

Im excited to see a new type of RP from people in a "cult"

[Kazjii]

Recently, the Bathsheba family has taken on more opportunities within the city and many more followers. We as a family has grown by a dozen members, all who have put their faith towards our Lord Flarg. With the additions to our family, we have also grabbed more additions to all of our rap sheets. From failure to pay expired tickets to attempted prison break and kidnapping of a government official, we have grown mentally and physically with these new-founded activities.

While we keep our priority on spreading the belief of Flarg, we also have kept our belief of the piece of grime, Boofa. We have attained this goal by our new addition of a mobile church where we can bring the chapel to the people and not the people to the chapel. We have received an overwhelming positive review of this new addition to our family and we are grateful for the ability to show everyone who desires to learn more a fast and easy drive thru experience.

The Mobile Church

 

 

 

On a crisp morning, the following Bathsheba members: Scoobie Bathsheba, Nikoli Franswa Bathsheba, Cloonz Bathsheba, Cleevus Bathsheba and Timowthy Bathsheba - were on the hunt for fresh cash. They sat out in front of the Grapeseed Store for around 5 minutes to scout the area and then further decided to pull the trigger and robbed the poor man working the store. A few minutes into the robbery, a black Rapid GT stopped by and stole of weapons from us but then forgot to take our packed money, as unexperienced silly criminals do. We immediately then panicked and decided to drive off until we found the Rapid GT following to take its packed money they forgot from the robbery scene. Since we had multiple Flarg Communication Vehicles, we split up to confuse the silly criminals. While Scoobie was able to get away from the scene, he called the Sheriffs Department and told the Rapid GT had heavy weapons and were the ones who robbed the store - as SD believed Scoobie, they chased the Rapid GT. What the Bathsheba Family did not know was that there was a PD Cadet at the station watching cameras and created a bolo for the Bathsheba family since he watched them commit the crime. The picture of the Bathshebas while robbing the store can be found below. 

After leaving the scene and cashing in the abundant 3k from the store, SD and PD rolled up and arrested 3/4 of the Bathsheba members for armed robbery. They did not capture Nikoli due to his great bush hiding skills.

 

The Bathshebas were having a nice mobile church gathering at the Bayview mechanic shop. When having a rather warm conversation with Sheriff Payne, the Bathshebas swarmed the Kamacho he was in and from what I can assume, scared him. He then gassed the car and injured one of our Trusted Prophets, Ronnie Bathsheba and ended up hurting him. Ronnie stated that his "arm had a boo boo". The Bathsheba surrounded Ronnie and began to pray over him and defended him with our mobile church and communicators. The Sheriffs Department rolled up and started to make us feel rather uncomfortable. This is when SD started to push on their sirens and told us to leave. The Bathshebas were able to lure two deputies into the mobile church in which one of our new missionaries jumped into the driver seat and ran with the two deputies. As you could expect, the Sheriffs Department did not like this and pursued them. While as the scene, Cloonz and Scoobie grabbed a SD BF400 and a communicator and dipped.

Some time has passed and one of our Bathshebas stole a SD Kamacho - in which we directed him to lead the single chasing unit to Lumberyard where we would set up an ambush. As soon as the car rolls up, we get the officer out at gunpoint and take his radio and equipment and drove off the grid to show the law who really controls the land, Flarg. To end the night, we tied him up at the humane labs to the kamacho and made an escape out with the Mobile Church. To conclude, lock your cruisers and dont mess with flarg.

bye ronnie (streamable.com)

 

Ronnie Bathsheba

https://i.imgur.com/oblXvIE.mp4

Ronnie Bathsheba has been a devout follower of Flarg since the very beginning. Ronnie has never showed any doubt in his ability to teach others about Flarg and never hesitates to help the family in daily operations. Ronnie besides for building his relationship with Flarg has also been learning a lot from Wizard Prophet Scoobie Bathsheba, his older brother. Scoobie will teach him how to make macaroni art and how to spell out bigger words such as his own last name or "piggy", referring to elite cops of course. Ronnie has never failed to be respectful when time asks for it and is a community favorite. Recently after being charged with felony evading and kidnapping, the DOC did a psych evaluation on Ronnie. Results will be posted below. Ronnie, for winning Bathsheba of the month will receive extra communion substances and a free tank of gas for his communicator. Thank you Ronnie for everything you do!

(May need to download and maximize to read )

 

On a personal note, we have had so much fun creating little scenarios and enjoy when others pitch in and create more rp with us. Thanks for the great rp so far, so much more to come. And also remeber, all information is not to be used ICly : ).

 

[Kazjii]

The Bathsheba brothers are undeniably the most powerful crime go-ers in Los Santos County. Both of these characters hold themselves to a higher caliber of perfection for their followers and more importantly, Flarg. Here today, you will learn the backstory of both of these icons and where they came from. Trigger warning, complete awesomeness.

 

"Ive become completely well adjusted being a cult figure" - Lou Jones

 

Young Scoobie ventured out onto his own by the age of fourteen due to some rather violent home life as the hands of his mother, Loraine Delteroid. His mother would grow tired of Scoobie's ever growing marvel interest in astrology which would become the spawn of Scoobies time. This would create the pit of anger in Scoobie's mother due the negligence of daily chores going unfinished and animals going unfed for the night. This would cause many domestic violence cases within the Delteroid home with Scoobie often seeing his mother in the backs of police cruisers and bruises painted on his face and arms.

 

 Anytime you would wonder where Scoobie would be, you can count on him being in the treehouse in ole' suburban Michigan where he would gaze at the night sky with a nearly broken telescope he found in the back of the foodmart one night. Scoobie found the stars alignment and general enormity of the universe in particular interesting which would fuel his future endeavors. Scoobie would find himself dabbling into crime around the age of fifteen, shortly after he ran away from home. He would find himself stealing magazines and knives from gas stations and was even caught trying to steal a gun from a gun store to protect himself against the ruthless identities on the streets. After finishing his first juvee sentence at the age of sixteen (as a result from the robbery of the gun store), young Scoobie would hitchhike miles upon miles to reach the city of Fresno, California.

 

In California, Scoobie would meet a few friends and would remain low to any police notoriety until the age of 21. At the age of 21, Scoobie has started his experiments into hard core drugs such as crystal meth, crack, and LSD. Out of these main go-to's, crack was the one Scoobie found the most intense and fulfilling. The cops in Fresno would start to know Scoobie by name and would attempt to book the young troubled man into dozens of rehabilitation facilities before throwing in the fork and pressing criminal charges. Scoobie was such a charismatic man that he would evade prison and jail time by using his sweet southern accent on the cop making them believe that he indeed wants help; however, Scoobie being stubborn and knowing crack being the only escape from reality, he would just lie to the officers into giving him the benefit of the doubt.

 

Scoobie one night attempts to take a large dose of crack with a friend of his, Shag. The substance that they have received was from a new dealer in town and neither Scoobie or Shag was familiar with the new dealer. As both of them being substance abusers, this did not phase them. As both of them draw up a dose to smoke, the room becomes vibrant with colors and saturated with sounds. Little did they know, the new dealer in town has spiked the crack with high amounts of pure acid. Scoobie asks Shag, "bro this stuff is loud" and would continue to cough while he would start seeing animals appear from the night sky. All of a sudden, his once childhood hobby came back as he starts to analyze the night sky. Shag reaches over to say to Scoobie, "Scoobie! He's talking to me, he wants us to be his prophets!". Both of the lost addicts are seeing the same entity in result of the acid giving them hardcore illusions. Both men would see a large alien-like creature that has named himself Flarg. This illusive man in the sky that claims to be Flarg starts to discuss a new world order that he has in mind and would like for Scoobie and Shag to be the honorable "Wizard Prophets" in which they will be tasked to convert non-believers to the faith of Flargism. Both Shag and Scoobie accept the offer since both of them have nearly nothing else to lose. 

 

Flarg claims that both men will have to legally change their last name to Bathsheba in honor of Flargs sister who is queen of the meteor "Hail Bob 97" which would be the resting place for Flarg. While Shag and Scoobie wake up from their bad trip and still having the immersive Flarg on their mind, they start the process of legally changing their last name. With time, both would be renamed to Scoobie Bathsheba and Shag Bathsheba and in which they start their journey to recruit members into the new faith. They will then start to build their beliefs and member base to make their almighty "drug god" happy.

 

Scoobie would one day mention the new possibilities in Los Santos, a bustling city for the working man. Scoobie thinks that this new place would be a great location for the religion that they have been trusted with to build up. After not only seeking out possible day jobs, they also look for possible drug dealers in the town so they wont have to worry about getting supplies for the Church of Flargs Communion, which is when all members of the church take a quarter gram of crack to feel enlightened when they speak to Flarg. The two young men take on the city with only one goal in mind, to expand the religion of Flargism and to grow out the population of the Bathsheba family.

 

Early morning chirps, the sound of a blaring alarm clock, and the sheets violently being torn off the bed. Shag Reynolds was a pristine student and had a rather comfortable childhood. Parent's marriage was sailing smooth, financial troubles no where in sight, and a foreseeable future in the field of space. Shag has expressed his interest, similar to Scoobie, in ways such as seeking out the unknown in the night sky. If you didn't know where Shag was, he was most likely hiding in his room finding different star patterns always pointing out Ryans Belt. Shag's grades in school were unheard of: 4.4 GPA, enrolled in every single AP course offered by his high school, leader and ambassador of the Future Sky Runners of America - Shag was a pretty successful kid. 

Shag would throughout his high school career experience many encounters of bullying, some instances causing physical harm. Shag you see had a disorder where his body would develop much slower than the rest of the kids. No armpit hair, no chest hair, and a high pitch voice would be the root problem to his bullying issue. While this may be a problem, Shag made it a turning point for him to focus on school and power through the evil he faced at school. He wanted to make a point to his enemies that he will one day send a man to the moon and would make it to the Forbes 100. 

Time dawns on Shag's senior year of high school. Shag scores a perfect SAT and ACT score of 1600 and 36 and uses both of these scores to apply to all of his dream colleges such as Yale, Harvard, Brown, and John Hopkins. The months passing by would drive Shag crazy but time would eventually pass and the results were in. His parents Maria and Joseph Reynolds would gather around their old apple computer and open the email from each school individually. Out of the 6 Ivy league schools he applies to, he was accepted by 5 of them. Shag and his parents shout in excitement, Shag's hard work finally payed off!

After days of making hard decisions and plotting the advantages and disadvantages of each school, Shag would accept the offer from Harvard and would further major in their aerospace engineering program which evidently is the most prestigious program in the country. Shag is chasing his dreams, he set his mind to it and he accomplished not only his goal but his parents dream. Shag was going to make history, people were going to admire him on TV and would dream of meeting this talented young man.

Shag goes onto making the Dean's list every year of his college career and was chosen to be the Valedictorian for the class of 2007. Shag graduated with a 4.0 at the top of his class while also being the leader of Harvards Space Club. During his stay at Harvard, Shag would take multiple internships from NASA and other various space engineering groups for experience. They all loved him. At the peak of his senior year, one of the prior internships he worked for in Fresno, California offered him a full-time job to help build a rocket to bring supplies to the IST. With no hesitation Shag took the offer and started the next chapter of his life.

While Shag starts to get acclimated to his new job in Fresno, he meets a young street boy by the name of Scoobie Delteroid who asked him for "powder money" - street code for cocaine. Shag being the professional working class man he was denied the request and went about his day while getting onto the public bus to get to work. Days dawn new and the cycle repeated, Shag would eventually give in and spark conversation with Scoobie where they would actually find a lot in common. They both like space and the unknown and both enjoy Star Wars.  Shag would leave work early at times to continue their conversation from the early morning. Thus began the friendship.

Scoobie would invite Shag to a outdoor movie where they were previewing all the Star Wars movies in order. Shag had bit of a nerd-gasm and decided to join Scoobie. During the first movie they showed, Scoobie asked Shag if he wanted some blow to stay awake for all of the movies. At first, Shag would deny but after some of Scoobie's master manipulation he gave in and tried some. The first sniff of the blow was the instant addiction to something Shag never experienced before. The night would go on and they would watch the whole Star Wars trilogy.

Days and nights following, Scoobie and Shag would do more and more drugs causing a steep decline in Shags performance as professional in the workforce. He would start calling out of work and would come in hours late. In return, Shag was fired from the company due to negligence of the company policy. Shag obviously being out of his dream job, he lived with Scoobie on the streets where he would experiment with all kinds of drugs.

The night they overdosed on acid was the night Shag changed his last name to Bathsheba and began the trek with Scoobie to create a religion for the lord almighty Flarg. These two would die for Flarg and will eliminate all people who say Flarg is a false being or fake. 

 

 

[CalvinKlein]

Good RP, are you guys aiming for a legal faction or an illegal faction / gang 

[Kazjii]

9 minutes ago, CalvinKlein said:

Good RP, are you guys aiming for a legal faction or an illegal faction / gang 

Ehhh, just crackheads going around spreading their cult.

[Ash]

 

With the recent times the Bathsheba family have found themselves in Bolingbroke Penitentiary the last few months, it was only a matter of time until Psychiatric evaluations began to happen on the members of flarg's great church. At moments of weakness, even the wizard prophets themselves had their minds probed into by what we can only assume to be patrons of Boofa: Kourtney Parrish & Yuki Nakamura. Below you can find the leaked documents from the SADOC medical team and their attempts to penetrate deeply into the mind of our glorious leaders.
Full Credit for writing these goes to @LeroySimpson&@Kimeybear.

Wizard Prophet Shag Bathsheba

Assistant Wizard Prophet Ronnie Bathsheba






Wizard Prophet Scoobie Bathsheba

[Alexander Zhao]

that's uh... one hell of a cult hoping to see you IRP 

[Puzzling]

The beginning of the greatest church service the Bathsheba Family has ever had. Today marked something special. The Bathsheba's are finally broadcasting their church service publicly to all of the citizens of Los Santos. This has been the largest meeting and this is how this historic day has gone for the ever growing Bathsheba Family, believers of Flarg!

 

The Bathsheba Family arrived at the sheriff station to do their regular talking to the elitist pigs that they are. The sheriff’s department has harassed the Bathsheba family anytime and anywhere that church service has been held. This time would be different, they are going to get ads from Weazel News to bring new members to experience the Church of Flarg and his all godliness.

 

While the family was roaming  around, they ran into Ari, Jason and Vanessa. Scoobie did his normal thing and talked to Jason about getting permission for our Church to be advertised. He never gave a straight answer and told the family they had to go through the government… and if there is one thing that the Bathsheba’s hate it's the elitist pigs of the government. The conversations were just short when Vanessa decided to just drive off ignoring the Bathsheba's… this will be remembered for years to come, coming between Flarg and new members… this vile action will not be taken lightly.

 

After the family was rudely interrupted they made their way to our church on the east side of Sandy Shores. LUGNUT proposed that the vehicles be organized on a circle, Scoobie agrees and thus the circle of Flarg was carefully crafted with all of the Communicators facing inwards. Shag channeled his inner Flarg before the church service started.

Once the Bathsheba's got there communicators set up at the church it was time to get the Weazel News Ad. LUGNUT called the news people at Weazel and one lucky Clay Cunningham answered the call. Whilst everyone was waiting for him to come. Scoobie had other plans to make the families first major purchase of *REDACTED* from *REDACTED* and *REDACTED*. Upon arrival at the meeting place, Clay was very… confused… excited… interested? 

No amount of emotion can be explained when it is the first time someone comes to the holy service of Flarg. Scoobie and the crew showed him around our church and told him more about the Bathsheba family and what we are doing with the new pre school building project and to get a dedicated place for the new church. He was so interested he called down a few reporters, Dommy and Adrianna to come and record the event for all of Los Santos to watch.

The Bathsheba's gathered in front of the camera and chanted in the name of Flarg as well as a chant to ward off the elitist pigs. Here is some of the footage from that interaction: 

 https://clips.twitch.tv/DeafElatedDiscDancingBaby

They didn't seem to interested in what we had to offer, but once the reporters got everything they needed we finally got our ad out for the public to see. The Bathsheba Family Church was also on the map for everyone to see on their GPS!

It was only minutes before our first church service when the stinky elitist pigs came to the area to ruin our fun. Myla Bathsheba got injured because she decided to jump in front of the moving communicators… Sheriff Garrett Groyce… Let’s just say he was bullied out of the event and he left without any issues. Shag was about to do terrible things to him with his large arms.

 

Advertisements went out, the people of Los Santos showed up to learn about Flarg and everything amazing he can bring. Overall the church service had a total of 24 people show up. This is larger than any event the Bathsheba’s have held thus far in the rich and long history. Scoobie started up the service with our promotions,  the list of promotions was as followed, this was also a special night for LUGNUT not only did he get to be promoted, but in the eyes of Flarg he was granted the largest promotion jump in Bathsheba History, something he shared with everyone being the vocal idiot he is.

Along with being advertised, this is the first time the family has shown the spirit box to the public eyes of people who are not members of the Bathsheba Family. One participant of the service, Miguel Fernando, had a very nervous and confused look on his face when the spirit box started to work. The family doesn’t know if he is a believer or not but will keep a very close eyes on him. There seems to be some footage of the spirit box in action: 

https://www.streamable.com/s2rnvn

Church service ended but the action never dies, not only did Earl try to call his parole officer which lead to him being put into zip ties, the stinky elitist pigs came back to arrest members of the Bathsheba Family, Flake Rock was wanted and got into LUGNUT’s communicator and drove away so he couldn’t be arrested. All in all, the elitist pigs of the Sheriff’s Department once again ruin a Bathsheba event, continuing to become greater and greater enemies with the Bathsheba Family and Flarg...

 

Full Twitch VOD:

 

[Jorge Compass]

Wizard Prophet Scoobie Bathsheba along with Missionary-In-Training Thimble Bathsheba arrived at Bayview and started to discuss the future of the pre-school. After some talking, the pre school was offered to the Bathsheba Family.

 

After moving from the new pre-school to the Church, we began to be interviewed by members of Weazel News; Beck Heart. Throughout the interview, Beck Heart slandered the Bathsheba Family on multiple occasions, using terms such as “Cult” and “Killers”. The interview was long, and becoming more and more frustrating over time. Eventually, the Weazel elitist pig crossed the line, in retaliation Scoobie withdrew his .50 pistol and eagerly placed it to the reporters ribs, telling him some wise words in the process… This act from weazel will be remembered by our lord and saviour, Flarg

.

 

Once the interview was concluded, the Bathsheba's collected their communicators and began a journey to the SD Department, where they would gain access to the entirety of the building. Nothing was done in the station and eventually the Bathsheba’s left, heading back to Bayview.

 

During the Weazel interview Rose Bathsheba was finally able to gather her courage and tell her story. She admitted being pregnant with Sheriff Pierce Hardy's baby and wanting him to help raise the child and contribute to the pre-school. Of course she wasn’t really pregnant, however she wanted to obtain more money from Sheriff Hardy as well as the community. After Pierce Hardy had seen the episode of the pulse by Beck Heart, he decided to resign out of fear.

 

After some relaxing at Bayview, the Bathsheba Family decided to move down to the Department of Corrections to see what was happening, however on the way Scoobie spotted an SD unit and decided to confront her. Originally, Scoobie tried talking her into becoming his lover; however this was a Romeo and Juliet kind of relationship… After some time of harassing the SD units, they decided to make a move upon the family and detain us. 

*Bang* *Bang* *Bang* Suddenly a barrage of shots came from the direction of Scoobie, seconds later the Wizard Prophet dropped to the floor with multiple gunshot wounds to his chest, his .50 remained in his hand as he recollected what had just happened. The Bathsheba’s were not only shocked, but devastated… No one really knew what just happened but everybody wanted the same; REVENGE. 

 

Seconds after the original rain of gunshots, a few more followed; injuring the female SD officer that minutes prior Scoobie had confessed his love for. A few more bodies of SD soon dropped to the ground. All SD units were injured, Scoobie was proceeded to be scooped off of the ground, bringing him to the Department of corrections in hopes that the guard had BLS. Scoobie later fell into a Coma… We knew that our frequency was compromised… so therefore we decided to use the

same frequency but backwards *REDACTED*

Edited February 13, 2021 by Jorge Compass
Editing format

[Kazjii]

Big thread coming soon!

[jason]

 

Flarg’s Arsenal is a series that will cover the notorious objects the Bathshebas use in distinct detail. These posts are meant to be RP heavy and pose as an insight to the Bathshebas cracked-up mindset. Sit back and relax to read an in-depth post about our lore and some daily relics the Bathshebas use day-to-day.

 

 

The communicator is a crucial tool in the Bathsheba family as it is the host to many opportunities to communicate to Flarg. It is very important to understand that the communicator has no “super powers” and in actuality is the slowest possible vehicle that the drug-addicted family could have possibly built themselves. The communicator has terrible handling and often has malfunctions since it mostly runs off a small car battery and an old air compressor - but for the Bathsheba family, the communicator is a comfort item and a novelty to its members. 

 

For history's sake, let's hit on the backstory of how Scoobie and Shag learned how to build quite wonders like the communicator vehicle. After Shag quit his job with NASA being an aerospace engineer, his car got repossessed by the car dealership due to many outstanding payments - thus would put Shag out of a car. Shag was always a hands-on type of man so he figured why not learn to build a car himself. It took some time, but after Scoobie and Shag befriended a local mechanic, they would soon be students under Joseph BedTender. Joseph BedTender was a master mechanic at one of the local repair shops and made a deal with the future leaders of the Bathsheba Family. Their deal was that Scoobie and Shag would pay in grams of heroin for lessons to repair and build cars. This “internship” would last only a few weeks due to Joseph abruptly dying after ingesting the payment from teaching Scoobie and Shag due to a massive heart attack. Anyways, Scoobie and Shag now build their communicators off of 3 lessons worth of teaching.

 

What you are about to read is the experience of building the infamous communicator.

One of the Bathshebas' newest family members, Thimble Bathsheba, was in need for a newly built communicator. This is the process from start to finish of how the totally efficient homemade chunk of stolen materials is crafted into a functioning masterpiece.

 

It is crucial to approach the Bathshebas and their actions with caution and intensive logic. The Bathshebas always, always put their interests above others. This means they will do violent things against someone to reach their goals. With this being said, the Bathshebas tend to steal all their materials to supply their building phase from miscellaneous sources. You will notice while reading and viewing, the Bathshebas are not phased of trespassing to receive their most crucial parts such as stealing from Bayview, LSC, and the docks. While they may be bad in intentions, they will not forget to return the excess items they do not use. LSC got their tools back, Bayview got their damn air compressor cables and wheels back, and the docks got their unused scrap metal back. This part of the building phase is called The Pilgrimage.

 

The crucial parts are recycled rubber tires that allow the communicator to steer and provide energy to move forward. The only difference between the power and steering spheres is that one is thick with layers of rubber and one is not.

 

The aerodynamic blades can be thanked for supporting the insane top speed of the communicator, 145 km/h. These side attachments don't only make the vehicle look like a luxurious modern invention, but it can also cut people on the sidewalks if they are close enough.

 

Attempt #1 - Thimble and Scoobie tried grabbing an old out-of-commission radio from the PD station but was suddenly ran into an evil elite pig, Edward Johnston. He denied their request and threatened to lock them up. This is why we will one day kill all pigs.

Attempt #2 - This time Thimble and Scoobie made their way to the docks where they would find a working CB radio that they could use. They of course stole it.

This piece of equipment helps the family communicate to Flarg when they're without their communication hat - which is never. To be honest, this piece of equipment just adds value while providing no benefits. Ronnie Bathsheba likes using the radio as a toy to talk to the other truckers.

 

The speed tubes are a crucial part of the build. This part helps build up energy and speed by amplifying the battery power inside the engine bay. This attachment adds an additional 5 horsepower and looks super cool.

 

Taking the tools fr... I mean borrowing the tools from LSC:

And returning them:

 

This instance was a close encounter. The employees of Bayview know the Bathshebas by name communicator hat design due to their frequent visits, however, this visit was not so nice. One of the employees, Ricky Mathers pulled a gun when we took the air compressor. This was not only very stressful for Scoobie and Thimble, but was also sad for Scoobie because he didn't want to IA report one of his favorite mechanics.

Borrowing the air compressor from Bayview:

 Borrowing caught on camera

 

Returning the wheels from the scavenged air compressor:

 

After collecting all the parts necessary for building the communicator, the pair began thinking of places to build the communicator. Eventually, after literal minutes of stuttering, Thimble said he remembered an abandoned Los Santos Customs branch they could build in. Upon their arrival, they realized that the tools, engine parts, tires, and the air compressor they needed were all already in this garage. 

Thimble unloaded all the parts they borrowed while Scoobie got to work on building the communicator.

Turning the communicator on for the first time (attempt #1)

Fixing the battery:

 

Turning it on after fixing the Battery Flux Capacting Module-anator:

 

Typically after every build, the engineers who helped build will pray their thanks to Flarg for providing the parts for the mission. That night's prayer went as so, “Thank you Flarg for giving us the opportunity to build Thimble a brand new homemade communicator. We thank you for providing the culprits LSC and Bayview so that we can be able to travel point a to point b, dealer to dealer, pig to pig. We say this in your holy name, Flarg.”

 

That night changed us. We are the Bathsheba Family and we are humble entities that believe that everyone should take on the skill of building their own transportation devices.

 

[Brant]

I absolutely love every interaction I've had with you all, especially @Kazjii.

You guys actually bring a lot of personality to your characters and never fail to make me laugh. Keep it up  

[HighTV]

@jason Fantastic air compressor heist  Good post!

 

[Kazjii]

 

Contents

- Introduction

- Pierce Hardy’s baby

- Pre-School

- Spirit Box

- Masons Arrest

- Dale Lost

- Valenflargs Day

- Flarg’s Statistics

- Bathsheba of the Month

- Closing Statement

 

Welcome to the second addition of the Monthly Flarg Letter. This set of stories and extras serve as a tool for the non-believing public to see the activity of the Bathsheba Family without being in the direct danger of their wrath. Since their last update, the Bathshebas have conquered new goals and have set themselves free from social judgment.

 

Within the last few weeks, our very own Rose Bathsheba has been noticing some quite uncomfortable pains in her stomach. After we pushed our research by flipping a dice, we concluded that Rose was indeed pregnant (the dice landed on 6 which meant it was a black male baby) - the Bathshebas landed their decision on the baby by following this legend depending on what number the dice landed on.

 

1 - not pregnant

2 - white male

3 - white female

4 - indian male

5 - indian female

6 - black male

 

As shown, the Bathsheba’s have made their mind. Since none of the Bathshebas have health insurance, they had to do with what they had. After rolling the dice, Rose recollected that the baby belonged to none other than Sheriff Pierce Hardy of the Los Santos Sheriff’s Department. This came as a shock to Scoobie since Rose slept with an ultra elite pig which is frowned upon within the Bathsheba faith. Rose reassured Scoobie that she only did this to get money out of him and she really doesn't want a baby after all. But to the Bathshebas, money is money. Sheriff Hardy, time to pay your child support.

 

Since the last newsletter, the Bathshebas have been preparing to open a preschool. The main reasoning of this is to house Ronnie and Winnie so that they can learn their basic teachings while they praise Flarg full time. 

With opening such a big project comes a lot of obstacles - but since when have the Bathshebas let things get in the way of their goals? The Bathshebas have had financial troubles in the past but that never stopped them, it definitely wont stop them now. They have made their way around the city to ask for donations and while people think it's just for drugs and weaponry, they don't know that the money is legitimately going towards a foundation to hold the two youngest Bathshebas (mentally). 

 

Currently, the Bathshebas were able to claim a temporary location in the city. The bathshebas are in the process of renovating a small 1G apartment where they can host teachings to Ronnie and Winnie. This place is owned by Don Mozzarella and has explicitly stated that no illegal doings is to be allowed. Scoobie agreed while his fingers were crossed behind his back - silly mechanic man should realize that the preschool must have illegal operations in order to buy school supplies. It's for the kids.

 

If you have visited a Bathsheba church session, you will know they are notorious for their spirit box sessions. Essentially this is when Scoobie or Shag plugs in an old VCR box and scans for nearby radio frequencies. Sometimes Flarg is busy and does not answer, other times he shows himself in full motion like this night's session. Please view the video below to be enlightened by Flargs beautiful sentiment while he talks to Wizard Prophet Scoobie. TW: Flarg

A photo from the first Spirit Box of the month

 

Whilst on a retreat after a very special spirit box church service, the Bathshebas found themselves in Los Santos Customs to relax and spread Flarg’s wise message and to raise money for the preschool. A familiar face to Scoobie Bathsheba arrived honking his plastic nose and blinding everyone with his yellow van, Chatterbox the Killer Clown.

 

Initially the clown rallied the Bathshebas for a trip to the ‘funhouse’ to which Scoobie intervened and informed everyone that Mister Chatterbox was not as fun as he made out and was in fact a killer SENT BY BOOFA. Chaos ensued with arguments, combined with LSC being as bigoted as ever against religious folk (Nothing new to ex-cult leader Mason Bathsheba), the Los Santos Police Department were promptly called down to LSC to intervene.

 

The incompetence of the LSPD was shown in full force as a cruiser was left unlocked, clean for the taking. Upon seeing such a pristine vehicle ready to be taken apart and used as communicator spare parts, Mason hopped into the Police cruiser, reversing his way to victory.

Mason on radio: “Guys i found a police car”

 Boofa once again intervened in Flarg’s great plan, however.

 

 

Within the Bathsheba faith, it is confirmed that all evil people stem from the entity of Boofa. This person we are speaking about within this article is one of the strongest energies of evil we as Bathshebas have ever encountered - and yes, more evil than the commissioners and police officer Edward Johnston. 

The story takes place at Bayview where the Bathshebas roll in. Scoobie shortly realizes that a Boofa impersonator is there talking some nonsense that only non-believers could possibly understand. Scoobie calls over the radio to Bartholomew to come to him so she can see what Boofa looks like. In return, the man in the evil spotlight, Dale Lost, took Scoobie’s communicator cone and ran off. This made Scoobie rage.

 

The culprits that drove matte black cars decided to drive off with the communication cone - the Bathsheba family followed them to a small house on the backside of Paleto (looked like a cheap house) where shots were then rung off towards the family. Scoobie got out of his communication vehicle and then ran towards the man the rest of the men in black forgot about. The man Scoobie was chasing ran onto the beach where he would surrender to the Wizard Prophet (out of fear). This is when the rest of the Bathshebas decided to take him hostage and shave his dry unconditioned hair.

 

Scoobie in the duration got a notification that someone was fiddling with his communicator’s locks so he in return went to investigate. He found no one at the vehicle so he drove it down to the beach until… he saw Dale’s black friends posing for an ambush - Scoobie demanded the rest of the family to move, STAT.

 

After the Bathshebas move out, the people in black chased them and became very hostile. Due to the communicator's agility, they were able to get away from Boofa and his minions. That is the reason you should believe in Flarg, we wouldn't have made it out alive if we didn't believe.

 

   Boofa Impersonator 

 

Dale Lost being taken hostage for his despicable actions

 

Dale’s crunchy hair after we were done with it

 

This month we had the ritual of Valenflargs Day, the one special day on the 14th February where we declare our love to those who matter in our lives. A special message was sent out through Weazel News to SD Kitty Kitty Meow Meow from the Wizard Prophet himself:

Mason, being a true patron for non-believers, chose to send a message out wishing all non-believers accept flarg into their hearts as he will love them eternally.

Weazel news did not allow the initial Valenflargs day message of “We at the Bathshebas all hope flarg penetrates you all deeply with his love” so the above message had to suffice.

 

Flarg has blessed all so very much. As a non-believer, I'm sure it is hard to ponder the greatness of what the bathshebas do; therefore, this part of the newsletter is to showcase the greatness of all members and what we have accomplished.

 

Community Service Records [15/01/2021-23/02/2021]

Attempted Murder of a Government Employee x2 - Scoobie Bathsheba 

Armed Robbery - Scoobie Bathsheba

Unlicensed Firearm - Scoobie Bathsheba

GTA of a Government Employee - Mason Bathsheba

GTA of a Government Employee - Cloonz Bathsheba

Attempted Prison Break - Scoobie Bathsheba

Armed Robbery - Cleevus Bathsheba

Reckless Operation x8 - Scoobie Bathsheba

Aggrivated Murder of a Government Employee - Shag Bathsheba

Kidnapping of a Government Employee - Scoobie Bathsheba

Felony Evading - Scoobie Bathsheba

Illegal Firearm - Rose Bathsheba

Felony Evading - Mason Bathsheba

Resisting Arrest - Mason Bathsheba

Failure to Comply - Mason Bathsheba

Assault with a deadly weapon - Mason Bathsheba

Brandishing a Firearm or Weapon of a Government Employee - Mason Bathsheba

Felony Evading - Ronnie Bathsheba

Trespassing - Scoobie / Lugnut / Mason Bathsheba

Unlicensed Firearm - Shag Bathsheba

Attempted Murder of a Government Employee - Myla Bathsheba

Attempted Murder of a Government Employee - Mustafa Bathsheba

Felony Evading - Lugnut Bathsheba

Aggrivated Attempted Murder of a Governement Employee - Lugnut Bathsheba

Failure to Identify - Caulkable Bathsheba

GTA of a government Employee - Ronnie Bathsheba

Operating a Motor Vehicle without a valid license - Cleevus Bathsheba

Failure to Comply - Scoobie Bathsheba

Assault with a deadly weapon of a Government Employee - Lugnut Bathsheba

Attempted Murder of a Government Employee x2 - Scoobie Bathsheba

 

As you can see above, the Bathshebas were heavy in their service with the community. The Bathshebas can be counted as good deities for the community as they tend to spend great deals of money to upkeep the evil government.

 

Flargs Vehicle Statistics 

KM travelled in a communicator: 896 KM

New communicators constructed: +2

Blown tires: 0

Amount of collisions: 49

Total in repair costs: $8,540 (Reduced from $40,000 from Thimble & Scoobie’s Bayview Heist of the air compressor)

 

Misc Statistics

Shots fired: 79

Blunts smoked: 14

Enchantment powder inhalation sessions: 4

Church sessions: 4

New member attendance to church services: 42

Preschools established: ½ (in a temporary building at the moment)

 

Thimble Bathsheba

This month’s Bathsheba of the month goes to Thimble Bathsheba. Thimble is relatively new but has aided in many of the Bathsheba activities and has proven that he is a great asset to the family. Thimble has learned how to build his own car, how to pray properly and also how to drive without a license. Thimble for his hard word will receive 5 grams of enchantment powder and a free radio.

Flarg. Flarg. Flarg. Flarg. Flarg. Flarg. Flarg. Flarg. Flarg. Flarg. Flarg. Flarg. Flarg. Flarg. Flarg. Flarg. Flarg. Flarg. Flarg. Flarg. Flarg. Flarg. Flarg. Flarg. Flarg. Flarg. Flarg. Flarg. Flarg. Flarg. Flarg. Flarg. Flarg.

Fuck Boofa.

 

[In collaboration with Mason Bathsheba]

[Beet]

Dear “Bathshebas”,

           

This letter serves as notice to you to immediately cease and desist all harassing activities against and towards me, including but not limited to: wrongly alleging that I am expecting a child with a "Rose Bathsheba" (whom I have never or wish to meet) and that I owe child support payments as a result. 

Your actions are unwanted, annoying, aggressive, threatening and disruptive. Your actions also infringe upon my right to remain free from harassment. As a result of your harassment, I have suffered loss of my membership to the “Bachelor and Babes Club” and have had my other child support payments (four in total) placed on hold.  

If you do not cease and desist the harassment, I will be forced to take appropriate legal action against you and will seek all available damages and remedies.

I strongly recommend that you seek independent legal advice immediately.

Yours Sincerely, 

Assistant Sheriff Pierce Hardy

Edited February 23, 2021 by Beet

[Ash]

_________

Mason Morrison was a wealthy scam artist running the Los Santos branch of The Epsilon Program, a “Religion” whose primary goal was enlightening those into the teachings of Kraff (Their Diety). Of course the real reason for this was to make money from the gullible and the whole thing was a scam set up by ‘Prophet’ Mason Morrison and ‘Prophet’ Jonathan Richards. 

In his leadership role, Mason scoured Los Santos for any idiots and vulnerable people with troubles that he could claim he could “wipe away” through the ‘religion’. Taking advantage of anyone he could he would charge them at minimum $5,000 for a ceremonial cleansing or baptism and sometimes up to $100,000 for extra reading material and ceremonies. Pretty much everything he did regarding this he kept a log of in his private notebook for easy reference if he was required to make something up on the fly.

Mason made many contacts through running this scam of a cult/religion and more importantly, made plenty of money setting him up for life.

 

The Epsilon program could only be sustained for so long though, with more and more people becoming aware of the higher-ups in the ‘religion’ effectively scamming the vulnerable and stupid people in the city people began to get sus.

As some of the more loyal Epsilonist members began to lose faith Mason made the decision to ditch them all and make a run for it with the money he had scammed, re-spraying his light blue Epsilon vehicle black, trashing the uniform and wearing a mask around the city to go unnoticed. There were several close calls where he was almost noticed by people he had scammed across the city but his acting talents came in clutch, allowing him to get away unnoticed.

Mason was ready to move onto his next big venture and started looking around the city for a new group to target.

It was an average Sunday evening at Los Santos Customs, Mason was getting some well earned engine upgrades to his pride and joy Windsor Drop, the vehicle he had purchased with a chunk of the money he had scammed from people the previous months. A man with a child-like voice pulled up in a Space Docker vehicle which looked like it was made by Elon Musk as a child.

This person was Ronnie Bathsheba, he told mason the basics of their religion “The Bathshebas” and how they are a family who communicate with their deity “Flarg”. Mason saw this as divine intervention for him to take these new targets and milk them for all they are worth. 

“If the rest of this family are anything like Ronnie, I’m going to make a killing”

Promptly after this brief introduction, the rest of the Bathshebas rolled up and began being harassed by Los Santos Police Department and Los Santos Customs employees, always keeping the end goal in mind of gaining favour with these new cultists mason helped them and stood up for them, though there was a soft spot in Masons mind got him to stand up for these Bathshebas as he had often faced persecution for the previous religion he was leading by the police and government workers.

After a Bathsheba or two was arrested and sent to Mission Row precinct, Mason talked more with some of their members and their leader Scoobie Bathsheba, who invited him to join their family/religion. A quick name change later, Mason Bathsheba was reborn.

 

The Bathshebas instructed Mason to buy a “Communicator Hat” and “Communicator Vehicle” which he found to be ridiculous but for the low cost it seemed a worthy investment in the long run as he was still planning on scamming them for their worth. 

A few nights later the Bathshebas were going around the city parading their new mobile church, a RV decorated with many plants to go around preaching. “This is genius” Mason thought, worrying that the leader of the Bathshebas was maybe smarter than he was letting on. The night consisted of talking to random citizens across the city, inviting them inside and trying to get them to join the Bathsheba cause of worshipping Flarg and condemning non-believers.

 

Mason was dedicated to the Bathshebas and did as much of their bidding as possible, whilst also trying to avoid their “Enlightenment Powder”...Literally Crack. Mason was trying his best to fit in but taking crack was the line for him. The Bathshebas routinely found themselves involved in crime from a petty level of being nuisances up to more serious felonies like assault of a government employee. Mason participated in these crimes as he has the money to burn in fines. His first arrest is a bit of a blur as it all happened so quickly but it came from the assault of a Sherriff Deputy alongside the Bathsheba leader, Wizard Prophet Scoobie Bathsheba. This kind of activity was a first for Mason as he had steered clear of obvious criminal activity and was used to more subtle ways of committing crime such as fraud and trickery.

Mason was praised at the next church session and offered a promotion for his work serving the Bathsheba cause. Many crimes and church services later, Mason Bathsheba is now a Disciple of Flarg and recently got out of prison serving a sentence for Grand Theft Auto of a Government Employee.

 

Mason Bathsheba is now a strong member of the church of Flarg and is continuing to try and recruit new people to the 'religion' wherever possible and conducting activities that would gain his favor with the Wizard Prophets, maybe he is getting too friendly with his new companions who treat him like family but the thought of money is in the back of his mind as he is running low on funds but whether he could actually go through with it when the time comes is a different question...especially with the current families goals of building a preschool for Ronnie & Winnie, could he actually stoop so low as to prevent that from happening.

Mason is currently on the lookout to get hold of some "Enlightenment Dust" for the other Bathshebas, maybe he'll try some in the near future...just one won't hurt right?

Tune in next time for "Mason tries Enlightenment Powder for the first time"

Edited February 25, 2021 by DrPathetic

[Doan]

Even before I joined this faction, I experienced nothing but exciting and innovative RP from this faction. And since I joined, I've been able to partake in the same RP I was in awe of.

These last 3 posts that were uploaded, by @jason, @Kazjii and @DrPathetic, have been great reads, and I haven't felt the same passion for reading since reading the Harry Potter-series when I was 12*.

*For reference, I'm currently 37 years old.

Edited February 25, 2021 by Doan